The Secret Lair

For Memorial Day, I went to the birthplace of Superman.

I drove to a neighborhood called Glenville on the east side of Cleveland.  There, at 10622 Kimberly Ave, is former home of one Jerry Siegel. It was in this house where he and his buddy Joe Shuster created on of the greatest icons in world culture.

This is the place where Superman was born.

Last year, author Brad Meltzer and a group of comic fans raised over $100,000 to renovate the birthplace of the most famous fictional character of the twentieth century. He pointed out, quite fairly, the City of Cleveland was letting the house rot, and that it was going to come down to the fans to save it.

And save it, they did.

Now, there’s a sign out front, and a plaque that tells you what you’re looking it.  But unless you knew to come here, you’d never know it existed.

The house is both inspirational and heartbreaking at the same time.  It’s wonderful that a bunch of people pitched in to raise money to save it. At the same time, the neighborhood is a mess. The vacant, boarded-up houses nearby are rotting; one had a sign to ward off looters: “NO COPPER. PVC PLUMBING ONLY.”

There are no fast food joints here. No large-chain gas stations. No Seven-Elevens. Hardly any business at all.

If there was ever a place that needed a hero, Glenville is it.

And yet, sitting there in my car, looking at the house, I was inspired. Two kids, two poor, frustrated, hormone-addled high-school kids created something wonderful there. That deserves some respect. That deserves some homage; some reverence.

Superman’s fame isn’t tawdry; it isn’t cheap. Unlike Batman, it isn’t born from angst and darkness. Superman is one of the most rare creations: he’s famous for being the Good Guy. There’s a purity to Superman that is utterly lacking in most pop culture icons. It’s his signature, his staying power; it’s why people still look to this fictional character with hope.

These two kids took a man and gave him three things: 1) Morals, 2) Strength, and 3) Bulletproof Skin¹.  That’s it. That was the formula. Hardly original. In fact, other parts of the Superman myth were cribbed entirely from other sources. Doc Savage, for instance, was known as the Man of Bronze and had a Fortress of Solitude. Superman was not created in a vacuum…he was a mashup of things that came before, and he is greater than the sum of his parts.

As a creative guy, this gives me hope. There is a myth of originality that creative folks cling to, as if there is anything new under the yellow sun. All we can do is remix and recast not only without shame, but also without guile.

And greatness? Superman achieved worldwide acclaim and recognition. The Siegel and Shuster families, however, have been fighting for the rights to Superman for years.

And the house in Glenville, where the two boys drew on old pieces of wallpaper, nearly passed away entirely.

The house serves as both inspiration and cautionary tale. It is both despair and hope, both dread and faith.

And between those, it endures.

Just like all of us.

(Click below to read the plaque)

(Originally published on Unquiet Desperation)

1. In the beginning, he couldn’t fly. He could only leap. [↩]

Flower photography? At the Lair? That doesn’t seem very… Lair-ish, you say? Well, just because the Overlords take pleasure in leveling up their evil street cred at every opportunity doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy the finer things in life. For instance, Overlord Miller appreciates a nice flower bouquet brightening up the interrogation chambers or a lovely arrangement on his desk to help him relax and contemplate the development of the next doomsday device. I have even heard rumors that Overlord Johnson has been cultivating a nice little rose garden¹ on one of the upper terrace levels.

That being said, the Overlords do like to document their floral appreciations in photographic format. Of course, they want to take the best photos possible to highlight the beauty and wonderment that they so enjoy.²

So, without further ado, I come to you today to present a few tips and tricks to aid you in your quest to improve your mad flower³ photography skills.

Know Thy Camera⁴
So, you have a new shiny digital camera with lots of modes, buttons, and dials. Do you know what all those modes do? No? Go find a subject and try out each mode on that one subject. Keeping to the same subject while exploring the settings and modes on your camera will make it more apparent as to what each setting does. Most cameras also store these details in their meta data. So, if you forgot what you did on a particular image, you can go and look at the properties of your image file to see what the settings were. Also, it’s highly recommended that you learn about focal length/depth of field and shutter speed, and how it affects an image (if your camera allows you to manually adjust those settings).

Photo by modomatic

Rule of Thirds

It’s an old rule and has been well documented lots of times all over the place. While we do love a good dead horse beating here at the Lair, there’s only a few things you really need to know about this rule. If you divide an image into three equally spaced lines both horizontally and vertically (for nine equal parts total), any subjects/focal points that fall along those lines or any of the intersections will generally produce a stronger, more balanced image, than just centering the subject in the frame. Granted this isn’t 100% true of all good images, but it’s still a good rule to apply to help with photo composition.⁵ Take a look around at some good photos. You’ll find that this rule holds true for many of them. Try it. Use it. Love it.⁶

Fill the Frame
Filling the frame fills the image with interest. Zoom in⁷ and highlight just one flower or even just one aspect/detail of the flower. Maybe its petals fall in an interesting pattern, or the inside of the flower is lovely in its strangeness. Fill up the entire frame with your subject. Keep in mind when getting so close to your subject that your depth of field will decrease. So, you will want to pay extra attention to where you are focusing your camera as everything else in the frame may be blurry.⁸ This is a good reason to know thy camera and understand focal length.

Not only can you fill the frame with close up details, but landscape shots or shots of a handful of flowers can also work well with this composition technique. Don’t be constrained to macro photography to fill the frame. Look around and see if there’s a good view or cluster of blossoms that would fill the frame while still keeping the subject(s) the focal point and interest of the photograph. Depth of field is also your friend in this situation since distractions can be minimized by blurring them out.

Keep it Simple
Too much detail can detract from an image and distract the eye from the subject. Sometimes a simple, less is more, minimalistic approach is perfect for highlighting flowers. Make sure to remove any distractions from the frame when constructing this type of composition as they will be very noticeable. Botanical photography often uses this technique to really show off flowers.

A Different Perspective
We’ve all seen the photo of the full frame side view or top view rose bud a thousand times.⁹ Sure, it’s nice, but maybe there’s a more interesting perspective. Try different angles. More specifically, try angles that aren’t a typical view of your standard human. Get down low, shooting up at the flowers from the ground. Or, push your camera right into the middle of a patch of flowers. Look at the flower from all the angles you can think of. There’s bound to be an interesting and less generic shot there.

Now, with your new and improved knowledge, go out there and shoot some flowers.¹⁰

1. Of Death [↩]
2. …and something about having all behold their photographic prowess and despair [↩]
3. Mad flowers are currently being developed by The Secret Lair Botany Department. “You won’t like these flowers when they get ANGRY!” [↩]
4. In a platonic way, of course. [↩]
5. The Golden Mean, while similar to the rule of thirds, is not quite the same, but it also works well for composition. [↩]
6. Again, in a platonic way, of course. [↩]
7. You can do this by using your camera’s zoom feature or  just getting up nice and close to your subject. [↩]
8. Blurry isn’t a bad thing. In fact, as many a college frat boy knows, it can be a very very good thing. [↩]
9. Really. [↩]
10. Except in Ohio, where they have a catch and release program. [↩]

Everyone loves a list, and your friendly neighbourhood Overlords are no exception to this Web 2.0 reality. Everywhere you look, someone is writing a list to tell you how to do something FREAKING AWESOME for yourself.  Good reader, we will not be left behind. Behold: Five reasons you should write a “Five Reasons” blog post.

1. Writing a Five Reasons post demonstrates that you know your stuff. It relays in an easily-digestible list that YOU are the expert, and you care enough about the world to impart your wisdom to the masses.
2. It’s a simple way to organize your thoughts. Everyone knows that some form of outline is the best way to get your ideas prepared for publication. A list helps compartmentalize and simplify your message.
3. It’s nearly effortless. After all…why post a real article when you can just post an outline with some embellishment?
4. FNORD.
5. Sometimes, you cannot think of anything better to write. I mean, really. They cannot all be gems. See?

In this episode of podcast, we are joined in the Lair by Madame Overlord Johnson, who did not bring cookies. What did she bring? Opinions and class. Turns out we were already full up on the former, but sadly lacking in the latter.

Chief Medical Officer’s Report

It is entirely possible (probable, even), that the Bad Doctor has been ill-informed as to the purpose and, indeed, the very nature of our speculum farm in New Zealand.

Are we entering one or more of our shetland-bonobo hybrids in The Chagrin Valley Hunter Jumper Classic Horse Show? Well, it depends upon how well they jump, or perhaps hunt.

Finally, our Minister of Crackpot Schemes and Unfortunate Synergies may have—perhaps inadvertently—created a form of…oh, let’s call it Genetic Art.

Discussion: What is Art?

Well, that’s a fine question, isn’t it? Probably something transcendent and revelatory. Or not.

• Once again, we’re chatting about “Video games can never be art,” an article written by movie critic Roger Ebert. Because there’s no horse dead enough that we’re not willing to give it another whack.
• Chris thinks that The Void might well be art. It moved him.
• Amazing Fantasy #17? Geek reference fail. Spider-Man was introduced in Amazing Fantasy #15, Johnson.
• Myst, Riven and A Mind Forever Voyaging may well have been art. Probably not Batman: Arkham Asylum, though; it’s not boring enough.
• Some elements of Homeworld, Assassin’s Creed and The Misadventures of P.B. Winterbottom may be art (or even Art), but when all elements (visuals, audio, gameplay, etc.) are combined, the games fall short.
• How about those graphic novels? Watchmen, Planetary and Transmetropolitan are all cited as examples.
• Fan-fiction? Are we stirring that pot, too?
• crit·i·jism (Pronunciation: \ˈkri-tə-ˌji-zəm\) noun. 1. The reeking ejaculate spewed by critics.
• The Tangent Train chugs right along and we wind up talking about the maturity of geeks, Star Wars (there’s a shocker) and horror films (Overlord Miller doesn’t like the gore) until someone finally puts the show out of its misery.

Lairkeeping

• Our theme music is “Skullcrusher Mountain” by Jonathan Coulton.
• Visit us on the web at trip-dubs dot thesecretlair dot com.
• Try StatusNet for those short updates. This service is invite-only, so send us a note if you’d like to join.
• Got something to say that 140 characters just won’t cover? Say it on our community site.
• Coming up on The Secret Library, The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell. Really. Any day now.
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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:07:02 — 61.4MB)

Welcome to The Secret Lair’s Kerfuffle Archive!

The Intarweb is a busy place, and we know it’s tough to keep track of whose hackles are raised and why, so we aim to make the Kerfuffle Archive your quick-reference guide to the latest slapfights, fracases, brouhahas and donnybrooks on the Intertubes. We’ll give you the who, the what, the when and the why, with links to the source of the scuffle and other helpful information.

Even as our web-crawling, tube-scraping robots were combing every nook and cranny of the Net for information relating to the Kerfuffle of the Moment, it suddenly became old news; a new contretemps arose and we had to quickly dispatch another squadron of tiffbots to determine the identity of the new feather rufflers and feather rufflees.

Here are the three most recent kerfuffles, with the current Kerfuffle of the Moment first:

Gaiman Gets Paid

Background: On April 23, 2010, the Politics in Minnesota blog published “‘Club Book’ organizers defend pricey allocation,” in which author Neil Gaiman (American Gods, Sandman) was criticized for his speaking fee after appearing at a small Minnesota junior high school. On May 7th, the Minneapolis Star Tribune published an article titled “One author: $45,000 for an afternoon,” drawing further attention to the story. Mr. Gaiman has since responded on his blog; in an entry titled “Political Football in A Teacup,” the author explained that his payment came from a Minnesota tax allocation created by Minnesota’s Clean Water, Land and Legacy Amendment: “[e]ither they gave the money to me or it went away – it couldn’t be used [by the library] for anything else.” Mr. Gaiman said that he is in the habit of donating his speaking fees from library speaking engagements to charity. Of the $45,000 fee, Mr. Gaiman also noted that “no-one asked if I’d do it for less.”

Who’s Angry: The Minneapolis Star Tribune and people opposed to The Legacy Fund.

Response: The blog entry on Politics in Minnesota garnered only 12 comments, while the Star Tribune article has thus far generated more than 150. A Boing Boing post regarding Mr. Gaiman’s response currently has over 130 comments.

Note: Excerpts from the speech and Q&A Mr. Gaiman gave at Stillwater Junior High School can be heard on the Minnesota Public Radio web site.

Diana Gabaldon vs. Fan-fiction

Background: On May 3, 2010, author Diana Gabaldon (Outlander, Lord John and the Hellfire Club) posted an entry on her blog titled “Fan-Fiction and Moral Conundrums,” declaring that fan fiction is illegal and (in her opinion) immoral. The entry was followed by at least one more on the topic, but Ms. Gabaldon has since deleted the posts and all attached comments. As nothing ever goes away forever on the Internet, the enterprising kerfuffle-seeker will be able to find a record of the row if they do a little digging.

Who’s Angry: Writers of fan-fiction, mostly.

Response: Ms. Gabaldon’s original blog entry, as near as we can tell, generated about 550 comments, but we haven’t seen any numbers for her followup entry (or entries). Science-fiction author and blogging legend John Scalzi (Old Man’s War, The God Engines) posted “Author Pokes Fanfic Hive! Film at 11!” in his blog on May 5th; that post currently has more than 140 comments attached to it. On May 7th and 8th, author George R. R. Martin (A Game of Thrones) posted related entries on his blog titled “Someone Is Angry On the Internet,” “A Few Last Words” and “A Few More Last Words.” The three entries have generated more than 700 combined comments to date.

Roger Ebert on Video Games

Background: On April 16, 2010, renowned film critic Roger Ebert published an article on his blog at the Chicago Sun-Times. In the article, titled “Video games can never be art,” Ebert expressed the opinion that video games are not art, and that “no video gamer now living will survive long enough to experience the medium as an art form.”

Who’s Angry: Video gamers; possibly video game creators.

Response: Mr. Ebert’s blog post has spawned (It’s a video game term; get it?) more than 4,000 comments as well as blog entries, YouTube videos and web comics. As we recently noted here, some of the responses have been less than civil.

Rick squinted, peering through the grimy windshield at the woman crossing the lot. She was crisp. Professional. Her heels click-clacked on the cement as she passed under one of the parking garage’s florescent lights.

He raised the two-way radio to his lips and pressed the button the side. “I see her. Can you confirm?”

Joan’s voice came back, crackling with static. “Confirmed. She’s the agent.”

“Go?”

“Go.”

Rick started his road-yacht and gunned the engine. He glanced next to him at the two packages wrapped in brown paper. That much dense material could kill. He had to get this just right.

“What are you waiting for?” Joan said, irritated. “Go, dammit.”

Rick ignored her. She was becoming reckless. He knew the plan. He was ready. He eased the car out of the space and drove toward the woman slowly picking up speed. There would be no way for their target to escape what was coming.

He shifted, the engine revving between gears. The tires squealed as he turned the corner, bearing down on his target. His left hand dropped and pressed the switch on his armrest. The driver’s window eased down.

The agent turned. She saw him. She screamed started to run toward a red Audi parked three spaces away.

Rick cursed. He flipped on the brights and muttered, “Not this time,” under his breath. In a move honed by many a night like this, he grabbed the packages by their twine ties, dragged them across the steering wheel, and lobbed them out, over the roof of his car in a practiced hook shot as he sped past the terrified woman.

In his rearview mirror he saw the two packages fly through the air and land flat on the hood of the agent’s car. One of them split open, hundreds of typewritten pages exploding from the brown paper, scattering in the wake of Rick’s enterprise-class vehicle.

“Whose was it?” Joan’s voice hissed in the speaker.

Rick grumbled. “Mine. Goddamn it. Mine.” He floored the accelerator and fairly flew up the exit ramp of the garage. He spun the car around and met his partner on the corner. She opened the door, slid in next to him, and slammed the door shut.

“Some days,” she said, removing the ski mask and green night vision goggles, “I think there must be a better way to get a book published.”

Rick grunted, shifted into gear, and sped off into the night.

• Ze Frank’s Chillout song is yet another interesting experiment from the man who brought us The Show.
• Stupid Fight lets you compare the relative intelligence (sort of) of followers of celebrities on Twitter. For example, Nathan Fillion’s followers vs. Lady Gaga’s: who brings the stupid?¹
• While we’re talking about Twitter, TwitterAnalyzer has some very pretty graphs.
• The Muppets invade The Office

And this poster, from the collection of Micah Wright:

1. Or, say, Chris Miller’s vs. Evo Terra’s followers… [↩]

Legends are made by powerful heroes wielding magnificent blades; here’s a list of some of our favorites.

1. Glamdring: The blade carried by Gandalf the Grey throughout the Lord of the Rings; it was crafted by ancient elves for Turgon, the King of Gondolin.  It glows in the presence of any enemy. It was found in the troll-hoard by Gandalf, Bilbo, and the dwarves as they traveled on the Quest of Erebnor. It is also called Foe-Hammer and is the mate to Orcrist, the blade of Thorin Oakenshield.
2. Farslayer: One of the Twelve Swords forged by Vulcan in Fred Saberhagen’s Swords series. Also known as the Sword of Vengeance, the power of the sword is unleashed when the bearer holds it and, visualizing the target of their revenge, chants “For thy heart! For thy heart! Who hast wronged me!” Upon its release, it will fly forth and kill the target of the spell. However, the drawback is that once released, it does not return like a boomerang. If the victim can identify the slayer, the sword can be used upon the original revenge-seeker. The only known way to defeat the sword is to use its brother, Shieldbreaker, to defend against it.
3. The Black Sword: In Ultima VII, this is the immensely powerful blade which grants the powers a fire shield, the replenishment of mana, and the power of instant death against any enemy.
4. The Power Sword: A mystical blade from the He-Man mythos. In the original mini-comics, the blade was divided into two halves, and Skeletor’s goal was to unite the halves and open a mystical gate to his home dimension to gather his forces to conquer Eternia. Unfortunately for him, he loses the sword in battle. It is divided once more and sent to two different dimensions. Interestingly, this is the last mention of the sword in original comics. However, when the Filmation animated series was released, the Power Sword was carried by Prince Adam. When hoisted aloft with the incantation “By the Power of Greyskull….I HAVE THE POWER!” The Power Sword transforms Prince Adam in the hero He-Man.
5. Caledfwlch: The original Welsh name of Excalibur, the blade given by the Lady of the Lake to King Arthur after he shatters his original blade in a battle with Lancelot du Lac.  It is said to represent the potency and sovereignty of the ruler of Britain. Even though most people think of Excalibur as the sword in the stone, this is not the case. And while Excalibur is a powerful weapon in its own right, the scabbard was far more powerful, as any man wearing it would not suffer from injuries caused by a loss of blood (like sword cuts, for instance). Just before Arthur’s final battle, the scabbard was stolen by Morgan le Fay and was never seen again.
6. The Sword of Omens: The Sword of Omens is the blade containing the mystical Eye of Thundera and is carried by Lion-O in the tales of the Thundercats. Its powers include the ability to shift shape from a short dagger to a longsword, shoot energy beams and produce a force field. Lion-O can summon the sword into his grasp with a simple command, and it can be used to enter the Book of Omens and travel through time and space when used with the book. The Eye gives Lion-O “sight beyond sight”, which is essentially clairvoyance, and will growl in warning when Lion-O or his comrades are in danger.
7. Grayswandir: Also called the Nightblade, it is carried by Corwin, Prince of Amber in Roger Zelazny’s Chronicles of Amber. It is the twin to Prince Brand’s Werewindle, call the Dayblade. Both have been forged with a portion of the mystical Pattern of Amber in their blade, and as such, have a devastating effect against sorcery or Chaos creatures.
8. Stormbringer: The legendary two-handed blade carried by E;ric of Melniboné in the series by Michael Moorcock. It is the twin to Mournblade, carried by Elric’s mad cousin, Yyrkoon.  The blade drinks the souls of its victims and transfers the life energy to Elric.  It sings a low, eerie tune in battle and is semi-sentient throughout the books, often moaning lowly when it fells a battle approaching. At times, it will kill of its own accord, lurching and pulling Elric unpredictably.  Later, it is revealed that the blade is actually one of a race of demons who take the forms of blades to feed.