May
22
More Rumor Control
Filed Under Memoranda
To: All Personnel
From: Management
Subject: Overlord Miller’s Head
It has recently come to my attention that many (if not all) of you are laboring under the mistaken belief that the headless body in Stasis Chamber 7-Alpha belongs to Overlord Miller, and that the head which is normally attached to said body was accidentally teleported to an alien medical frigate orbiting Succula IX.
Let me assure you that this is simply untrue. Mr. Miller’s head is precisely where it belongs and the alleged absence of his cranium has nothing to do with any delays in the release of new podcast episodes. In fact, the delays are strictly due to the difficulties our Chief Engineer has encountered in tuning the subliminal harmonic wave generators. I need not remind you that releasing an episode with an ill-tuned subliminal harmonic wave would almost certainly result in a variety of unpleasant and (for the time being) entirely undesirable side-effects for our listeners including (but not limited to) cranial cavity implosion, uncontrollable drooling, temporary (we think) insanity, and/or “jazz hands”.
The Chief Engineer is working diligently to overcome this technical challenge; he is not attempting to devise a means by which Overlord Miller’s head can be returned to this galaxy and reattached to the aforementioned headless body. Once the issues with the subliminal harmonic wave generators have been resolved, new episodes of the podcast will be released post haste.
To further address these rampant rumors, this communiqué contains an embedded hypnotic suggestion that will eradicate all awareness and memory of the headless body in Stasis Chamber 7-Alpha.
I repeat, there is no headless body in Stasis Chamber 7-Alpha.
Thank you.
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3 Responses to “More Rumor Control”
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- Re: EUReKA
Oh crap… jazz hands you say? The horror!!! Yes, please get the subliminal harmonic wave all nicely tuned. Jazz hands… damn. Those are incurable, you know?
Indeed, we are working very diligently to avoid an extremely unpleasant situation. Thank you for buying into the distraction, er, raising awareness of this serious disorder.
Everyone…now…
JAZZ HANDS!