Jun
27
Popularity: 32% [?]
Jun
25
To: All Personnel
From: Overlord Kris
Subject: Follow-up from Safety Awareness Meeting (25 June 2008)
In reviewing the minutes from the Daily Safety Awareness Stand-up Meeting, I came across two questions that I wanted to personally address.
- Shouldn’t these meetings be held on an hourly basis?
- Shouldn’t the “Days Since Last Accident” sign be updated to read “-349″?
These questions betray an underlying attitude of pessimism that I find somewhat troubling. Safety awareness in the Lair is at an all-time high, while the number of incidents resulting in unintended death, dismemberment, trans-dimensional shunting, psychic scarring, debilitating mutation and/or devolution has never been lower.
Critics will be quick to point out that the malfunctioning neuron stimulator incapacitated seventy-eight people last week, but I would remind you that, regardless of the number of affected individuals, the buffer overload is still technically a single incident. Additionally, the affected individuals, while not able to perform their duties, ambulate or eat solid foods, are quite obviously experiencing no discomfort. In fact, I’m told that electroencephalograph readings on all seventy-eight individuals indicate a state of (thus far) “permanent bliss verging on sheer ecstasy”.
With respect to the second question, the incident has technically not occurred yet. The temporal rift remains open and we are working on a means by which we can communicate with the personnel involved in the hopes that we can prevent the implosion that created the rift in the first place. This has proven extremely difficult, as the timestream we are observing through the rift is regressing backward from 09 June 2009 toward present day. We estimate that the two timestreams will collide on 16 December 2008 and our efforts to correct the matter before it becomes an incident will continue as long as necessary. Until such time as the implosion actually occurs, however, I have instructed the Safety Committee that it is not to be recorded in their logs.
Be assured that safety is, while not our primary concern, certainly important to Overlord Miller and myself. Where priority, efficiency, aesthetics and cost allow, we have taken every measure to protect the health and wellbeing of those in our employ.
Popularity: 33% [?]
Jun
16
The Secret Lair 0012: Our Holocaust Room
Filed Under Books, Memoranda, Movies, Villainy | 14 Comments
Det visar anteckningar för detta avsnitt var oavsiktligt förlorade när köra genom vårt nya översättningen motor från Ikea. När vi får unBorked kommer vi att få några riktigt påpekar upp.
No, really.
[Insert obligatory announcement about sacking those responsible for the previous notes here.]
A word of warning: there is some very uncensored language in this episode. We usually try to keep it fairly clean (though we do have an “explicit” tag), but the potty-mouths runneth over a couple of times.
And now, the show notes.
The Secret Library
- We discuss the graphic novel Shooting War by Anthony Lappé and Dan Goldman. Shooting War was suggested by Troy in our GoodReads group, and he has written a review as well.
- Chris likes the word whinging.
- We will eventually be discussing The Sky People by S.M. Stirling, but Mr. Newquist seems to have recovered some of the suppressed memories of our previous encounter and, as a result, has become rather evasive.1
- We will also eventually be discussing Old Man’s War by John Scalzi. Though Scalzi and Sterling use many of the same words in their respective books, the ordering of those words is vastly different from one novel to the other, so we would strong suggest that you read them both to avoid confusion.
The Screening Room
- Iron Man, was very entertaining and we both liked it. A lot.
- The name of the doctor who helps Tony Stark build the original armor is Yinsen, and he was portrayed by Shaun Toub.
- The Incredible Hulk appears to hearken back to the television series starring Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno. We’re both looking forward to it.
- We both like Tim Roth (Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead), who plays Emil Blonsky.
- Marvel is tying their superhero movies together in preparation for an Avengers movie. Go, Marvel, go!
- Kris is really looking forward to Captain America: The First Avenger. I mean really looking forward to it. If you happen to be in the theater when he sees it for the first time, do not be surprised if he throws his panties at the screen.
- We discuss the casting of X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
- Other superhero movies on the horizon that we’re looking forward to: Hellboy II: The Golden Army and The Dark Knight.
- Will there be a Thor movie? We’d watch it.
- There was a fourth Indiana Jones movie. You may have heard of it. We have more than heard of it, we have seen it. Armed with this advantage, we feel comfortable discussing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Pepsi and comparing it to the other three.
- There is some degree of dissent in the Lair as to the relative merits of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
- At one point, our in-studio audience can no longer hold her objections, so she gets all up in Chris’ grill.
- The commentary tracks on the 3-disc special edition of Hellboy are very good; so says Kris.2
- Kris recently saw Cube Zero and provides a brief, insightful, reasoned and well-supported opinion of the entire series.
- Kris will soon watch In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. Chris has already seen it. The cast is very intriguing. The very idea of Ray Liotta as a dark wizard boggles the mind.
- Regarding Renaissance, Kris meant “motion-capture”, not “stop-motion”. Get it together, Johnson!
- Chris saw Prince Caspian and provides a comparison to The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.
- Kris didn’t make it all the way through The Golden Compass, based on the first book of Phillip Pullman’s His Dark Materials series.
- Chris did make it all the way through Revolver, starring Jason Statham and Ray Liotta, but it wasn’t quite what he expected.
Lairkeeping
- Our theme music is “Skullcrusher Mountain” by Jonathan Coulton. Cleveland-area fans can see Mr. Coulton live at the Beachland Ballroom on Friday, 11 July 2008 at 7pm.
- We welcome your feedback at The Secret Lair. Dot com. Such feedback may be submitted via electronic mail or our online contact form.
- It would not kill you to visit our official community.3
- Information and commentary on books we have discussed, may be in the process of discussing and will one day discuss is available at The Secret Library.
Popularity: 40% [?]
- It has been suggested that the source of the delay is internal to The Secret Lair. Kris may or may not have failed to e-mail Mr. Newquist with the details of our recording schedule for the weekend, but that is entirely irrelevent. History will decide who is to blame. [↩]
- Keep in mind that this is a man who recently wished he had a womb so he could bear director Guillermo del Toro’s offspring. [↩]
- This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA, the AMA, or anyone who could reliably determine whether our official community is, in fact, capable of inducing death. [↩]
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