Aug
25
Internal Memo: Temporary Safety Director
Filed Under Memoranda
To: All Lair Personnel
From: Overlord Johnson
Subject: Temporary Safety Director
While Mr. Doroschuk is recovering in the infirmary1 I will be temporarily assuming the role of Safety Director. Weekly safety meetings will occur on schedule; please consult your zone coordinator if you have any questions about which session(s) you should attend.
On a related note, we have recovered and/or neutralized approximately 94% of the alien spores but it was necessary to disable all internal ventilation until such time as the threat has been eliminated. I have received reports from some of the lower sublevels that the air is becoming quite “stale”, but by all accounts it is a small price to pay for not being infected by an alien organism of unknown origin. Silver lining!
One final note: please be aware that Mr. Doroschuk is not only quarantined, but also heavily sedated. As a result, we are unable to deliver the cards and flowers many of you have sent. Additionally, Mr. Doroschuk no longer appears to be able to speak or comprehend any known language, so relaying well wishes to him at this point is entirely futile.
Thank you.
Popularity: 30% [?]
- Assuming he does recover. Dr. Pterous informs me that the “infection” (for lack of a better term) has spread across the entire left arm, giving Mr. Doroschuk’s skin a bark-like appearance and texture. The internal effects have not yet been fully determined. [↩]
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