The Secret Lair

To: All Lair Personnel

From: Overlord Miller

Subject: Web site uptime and podcast schedule

While Overlord Johnson and I reward hard work and appreciate an enterprising mind, whomever decided to hook up the Q-Crays to the Desktop Hadron Collidor needs to present him/herself to me as soon as possible.

The resulting gravitational anomaly has trashed all the recordings that Overlord Johnson and I made over the month of December. While we can appreciate that David Moore’s clone’s presence in the building was offensive, it did not call for the destruction of the recording of the interrogation.

Additionally, we’re tracing the individual who sent the Hound of Tindalos puppies to the Turkish Government as a holiday gift. While humorous, it did result in temporary downtime for the web site when the counterattack hit us.

I cannot overemphasize how important branding is to a successful evil enterprise. Microsoft, AT&T, and Chuck E. Cheese have dominated based on catchy slogans and animatronic figures¹ alone.  If we want to maximize the return on our investments in shock troops and propaganda campaigns, we cannot have these sorts of slip-ups and pranks.

Thank you.

1. Steve Ballmer, in the case of Microsoft [↩]