Overlord Dispatches for 2009-03-09

• Raising an army of atomic snowmen should be easier than this. http://is.gd/lqHf #
• The instructions for programming our new Universal Translator are written in a language no one at the Lair understands. I hate irony. #
• Note to Dr. West: Technically, they’re just “animated Gummi Bears”. To be “reanimated”, they’d have to have been alive before at some point. #
• Note to Overzealous Security Guard: My iPod earbuds are not a wire protruding from my neck. I am not an android, nor do I enjoy being tased. #
• Mulling over a proposed Take Your Child to the Lair Day. #
• Scanning targets. Targets identified. Prepare for termination. #
• Many Bothans died to bring @codeshaman a Happy Birthday. In other news, Lair shock troops have successfully overthrown the Bothan gov’t. #
• The new autonomous battle troopers have a weapon based on PEZ dispenser technology. I can’t decide whether it’s cool or just unnerving. #
• Trying not to laugh at the minions who have just discovered that the ice on the moat is now too thin to skate upon. That’s one happy squid. #
• Whether it is technically necessary for our transforming robots to make “that noise” is entirely irrelevant. Just make it happen. #
• What’s to be done when your newly-installed trapdoor messes with the flow of Qi in the office? Hindsight and Feng Shui don’t mix. #

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