Coming Attractions: If you can find them…

Overlord Miller and I ventured out of the lair over the weekend to see Daybreakers at one of our local mega-theaters. While I enjoyed The Spierig Brothers’ take on contemporary vampires a bit more than Overlord Miller, I’m not going to expand upon his review of the film. Rather, I’m going to talk about one of the trailers we saw as the house lights were being dimmed. I don’t know if it’s technically possible to spoil a movie trailer, but I’m probably going to do just that.

The A-Team. What do you need to know about The A-Team trailer? Well, for starters, there’s the cast. Liam Neeson (Taken) plays Col. John “Hannibal” Smith, a role originated by the late, great George Peppard. In true Hannibal fashion, Neeson is sporting gray hair and he grins around a cigar when he delivers the line most associated with the leader of The A-Team, “I love it when a plan comes together.” Sharlto Copley (District 9) plays H. M. “Howling Mad” Murdock, and he has the best line in the trailer, but we’ll get to that in a minute. Ultimate Fighter Quinton “Rampage” Jackson plays B.A. “Bad Attitude” Baracus, and he’s got the Mister T look nailed, but nary a fool is proper pitied (though one acetylene torch is ignited). Oh, and some pretty boy plays Templeton “The Faceman” Peck, but who cares?¹ Ladies, he’s shirtless and there’s an almost-kiss (with Jessica Biel, I think); not enough to completely ruin the trailer, though. There are plenty of explosions, a few wisecracks, a slow-pan reveal of B.A.’s mohawk, and a tender reunion with a certain GMC van, all with a voiceover nearly identical to that heard over the opening credits of the television show and orchestral strains of the instantly-recognizable theme song. There’s no real indication of the movie’s plot, nor are we really introduced to any characters other than the “elite commando unit” convicted of a crime they did not commit. As with any good trailer, the clincher is in the last few seconds: flying a heavy cargo plane and under fire from a hostile aircraft, Murdock twangs, “If you look out of the right-hand side of the aircraft, you’ll notice that the right wing is on fire.” A few seconds later, the plane explodinates, but all is not lost: The A-Team have escaped in a tank equipped with parachutes and a mounted machine gun, the latter of which is then used to shoot down the enemy plane. Sure, it’s outlandish, but it’s based on a television series in which thousands of rounds of spent ammunition and countless explosions rarely—if ever—resulted in a fatality; it would be silly to expect anything less.

The A-Team trailer hits all the right nostalgia buttons: the look of the characters, the iconic GMC van, the theme music and the promise that “if you need help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire…The A-Team.” The only thing missing is B.A. saying, “I ain’t gettin’ on no plane, Hannibal” and the bit where Faceman gets Murdock out of the VA hospital.

Rating: 4 out of 5 flipped military Jeeps.

Will Overlord Johnson see The A-Team in the theater? Almost certainly.

Will Overlord Miller? Somehow I doubt it.

1. It’s Bradley Cooper (The Hangover), all right? Bradley Cooper. [↩]

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1. 

   JJ says:

   January 14, 2010 at 4:28 pm

   Nice write up. I have to say I’m intriqued as well. My youngest has really taken to the classic A-Team (we get it on The Retro Station). We’ll probably be going to see it.
2. 

   Kris Johnson says:

   January 19, 2010 at 3:06 pm

   @JJ — I’ve tried to get my young apprentice (who just turned four last week) to watch The A-Team, but I think he’s a bit put off by the lack of a talking TransAm. Pity, too, as I was hoping to have him running around the house with “these men promptly escaped from a maximum-security facility” on his lips.