Comments on: Where the Hell is my Rockford Files Remake?

By: blob

blob — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 16:47:26 +0000

@Kris It was the ’70s, man. They hadn’t invented continuity yet.

By: Kris Johnson

Kris Johnson — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 19:58:51 +0000

Okay, so I watched a couple episodes of The Rockford Files over the weekend, and I have this to say: for a down-on-his-luck, flat broke P.I., Jim Rockford has some damn good auto insurance.

Case in point: at the climax of the pilot (“Backlash of the Hunter”), the bad guys—circling overhead in their single-engine plane—fire a machine gun at Jim’s car, riddling it with bullets. The car then explodes (though Jim and Sara—played by the fetching Lindsay Wagner—manage to escape the conflagration). Sometime between the end of that episode and the beginning of the next, Jim has not only filed a claim with his insurance company, but they’ve apparently paid in full, ’cause he’s driving pretty much the same car (right down to the color) as he works on “The Kirkoff Case” (guest starring a very young James Woods as Larry Kirkoff).

By: Matthew Wayne Selznick

Matthew Wayne Selznick — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 03:12:07 +0000

You didn’t know? David Shore, creator of House, is developing The Rockford Files for NBC. It’s coming!

Now — can we get James Garner to play Jim Rockford’s dad..?

By: JJ

JJ — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:26:47 +0000

I don’t know who’s side this helps out, but my 11 year old LOVES him some classic A-Team. He wants me to make an A-Team RPG just so he can be Mr. T. Or is it Murdock? Anyway, I’ll have him ready to go to the movies with you Kris.

By: Chris Miller

Chris Miller — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 16:12:13 +0000

@Kris You know, you could have gotten a new column out of that last comment. Silly man.

By: Kris Johnson

Kris Johnson — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 16:07:11 +0000

@Chris — I should have a crocodile/alligator-themed birthday party this year. Is 37 too old for themed birthday parties? But we digress; let's return to The A-Team. Specifically, the writing: it doesn't matter. Let's break it down and see what we really need for this movie as far as writing goes. The Plot: Since it's the first movie in what might be a franchise, we'll get the origin out of the way: elite commando unit escapes from maximum-security facility after being convicted of a crime they did not commit. Now someone in trouble has managed to find and hire them. How does The A-Team solve problems? Fists and bullets and explosions and car chases. Also: They build an armored assault vehicle out of stuff lying around in a garage or warehouse. Throw in a close call with whatever military organization is pursuing them and you're done. The Dialog: Hannibal loves it when a plan comes together. B.A. pities the poor fool (or something along those lines). Murdock is just plain crazy. Faceman doesn't even need to talk; he just finds some attractive woman (probably the one who hired them in the first place) and makes with the spit-swapping. That's it. If you've ever seen an episode of The A-Team and you walk into the theater expecting more than that, you should probably go back and watch that episode of The A-Team again, because you may not have been paying attention. As for The Rockford Files, I've never seen an episode, but I intend to rectify that within the week, as Season One is available through Netflix streaming.

By: Chris Miller

Chris Miller — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 14:21:35 +0000

@Kris You make a fair point about the A-Team and suspending disbelief. But I maintain that the writing will be atrocious. But that might be in keeping with the original series as well.

And as for the crocodiles: very well. I retract my previous statement, and now know what to get you for your birthday.

By: Kris Johnson

Kris Johnson — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 14:08:57 +0000

@Chris — The A-Team has never been about suspending disbelief; rather, you should lock your disbelief away in an airtight trunk, wrap it in chains and sink it in 30 feet of concrete. The only thing that prevented them from shooting down airplanes with a machine gun mounted on a parachuting tank back in the 1980s was budget. Except it probably wouldn’t have been a tank. While Murdock was busy trying to avoid getting shot down, B.A. would have been in the back of the cargo plan welding half-inch metal plates onto a VW Vanagon, into which the entire team would have piled as their flight was canceled in midair, and Faceman would have taken the enemy plane down with a makeshift flamethrower. Yeah. A flamethrower.

Oh, and just for the record: I don’t own a single giant crocodile movie. Not a one. But I do so enjoy watching ‘em.

By: Gaston

Gaston — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 03:56:24 +0000

@Kris: This is one time I will beg you, sir. Please, don’t put me in the category of “haters.” Believe me, I’m going to see this movie with a huge smile on my face, and for much the same reason I enjoyed Transformers 2. (Yes! I enjoyed that flick!) It’s a flick based on an 80s TV series. If I can’t expect some cheese from that movie…

@Chris: Glad you smiled.

By: Chris Miller

Chris Miller — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 23:00:05 +0000

@Kris Oh, it’s not hate. I’m just unable to suspend my disbelief quite as much as those silly writers want me to. I mean…come on. But then, I’m speaking to a man who prides himself on number of giant alligator movies he owns. So…yeah.

@Gaston: NICE!

@Jim: Very nice. I’d love to see it if they can pull it together.