Contest: Name Overlord Johnson’s Laptop
In an effort to understand the fleeting whims and dark designs that comprise the mind of Overlord Miller, I have recently acquired a MacBook. It is my hope that, by using this so-called “computer”, I will one day gain insight into Chris’ drives and desires and thus engender an atmosphere of synergistic harmony and cooperation here at The Secret Lair and perhaps help break down the artificial “Us Versus Them” mentality that is so pervasive among Mac and Windows users.1 I also felt that owning a Mac would give me license to be a pretentious, self-indulgent windbag.2
Windows users3 need not despair, for the very first thing I did upon powering up my new MacBook was launch Boot Camp, partition the hard drive and install Windows 7 Home Premium Edition. This was mostly so that I could install Steam and make my Thursday night gaming with the Olde Fartz a bit more portable. Nonetheless, I now have a dual-booting MacBook; a dual-booting MacBook that needs a name.
Two names, in fact: one for the Mac OS X (Snow Leopard. Rar!) partition and another for the Windows 7 partition. The former is currently known as The MacBook With No Name, or TMBWNN, or Tambwynn,4 and the latter has been temporarily named Palpatine. What I want from you is a pair of names—better names—for my laptop. In a fit of uncommon benevolence, Overlord Miller and I decided to offer a prize—nay, not merely a prize, but a prize suite—to the individual who suggests the best names for my new MacBook.
The Prize Suite
The winner will receive the following:
- An official TSL title: Minister of Difference Engine Monikers.5
- An official TSL avatar, created by our Secretary of Artistic Propaganda, Natalie Metzger.
- A $25 eGift Card to Powell’s Books.
Rules and Instructions
- E-mail your suggestions to feedback@thesecretlair.com with the subject line “Name Overlord Johnson’s Laptop Contest” or leave your suggestion(s) in a comment on this blog entry.
- Multiple entries are perfectly acceptable.
- Overlord Miller and I will review all entries and choose the one we feel is the best. One factor we will be considering is how well the names speak to the interests of the laptop’s owner. Hint: he’s a bit of a geek.
- All entries must be received by Monday, February 22, 2010 at 11:59pm EST.
Ineligible Names
- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Those are my cats, named for two characters from Hamlet by way of Tom Stoppard’s play, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.
- Torquemada. That’s the name I gave my HP 48SX calculator way back in 1991.
- Hannibal and Banacek. Both members of The Peppard Paradigm, so named because the monikers originated with roles made famous by the late, great George Peppard. I’ve used both of these on other computers.
- Vader, Falcon, Palpatine and Fett. It’s no secret that I’m a Star Wars fanboy, so I’ve named several computers after character and ships from the films. This doesn’t mean the entire Star Wars universe is ineligible; just a handful of names.
- Reality check for John Hodgman and Justin Long: You’re both PCs. [↩]
- As opposed to the unlicensed pretentious, self-indulgent windbaggery I’ve been practicing, lo, these many years. [↩]
- Henceforth referred to as “Them”. [↩]
- Which sounds an awful lot like the name of a tavern wench in a Dungeons & Dragons module. [↩]
- It’s not MoDEM for short. Not really. [↩]
Episode 0048: The Great Old Pumpkin
If you want to stick with a film motif you could go with “Withnail & I” with the “I” for the MAC part of your computer.
Or you could try “Dumb & Dumber”. I’ll let you decide which is which
I submit:
KITT & Goliath
Also, I considered “Michael” and “Garthe,” but decided I liked the vehicles’ names better.
My suggestions:
- The Sinister Exaggerator
- Melchior
- Balthasar
- Fizzgig
- Bruce
- Anchorage, AK
- 17
- Fido
dang, only two names? so much for reading all the way through. Therefore, I choose as my two suggestions:
The Sinister Exaggerator
and
Balthasar
Starbuck and Apollo
Stripe and Gizmo
Jabba and Leiah
Gargamel and Papa Smurf
Kandarian and Ash – Evil Dead ..
Peaches and Erb
Captain and Tenille
These may seem simplistic, but there are layers of meaning in the names of…
Red/Blue
Which OS belongs to which name is up to you (although there is a right choice and a wrong choice).
Not snazzy enough? Nor techy sounding? Insufficient to represent the awesome power of the machine at your command? Then how about…
Applemus Prime and Gigatron!
You could chance the latter to Teratron if Giga is too wimpy for ya.
Hmmmm. How about Indy and Han?
Then you wouldn’t have to love one more than the other.
[I don't really want to win, I already got an avatar from the Secretary of Artistic Propaganda, that I love. But I want to suggest names anyway!]
Goose & Maverick
Braaaains and Braaaaaaiiiinnnns
Though that might be hard to distinguish.
Don’t mind me, I had too much coffee.
Gus and Shawn!
Alpha & Omega
Blue Beetle & Booster Gold
K & J. Think about it.
Um…so is C3PO & R2D2 off limits?
@JJ — Those names aren’t off-limits at all. There’s just a handful of Star Wars–related names that I’m not going to re-use: Vader, Fett, Falcon and Palpatine.
Deadline is tonight. Kris, did you get my email with other possible names? If not I’ll post them here if needs be.
@JJ — I’m almost positive that your entries were received and are now housed safely in our off-site archive, to be examined when Overlord Miller and I review and pass judgment on them. Alas, as is the nature of off-site archives, I am unable to check at the moment.
How about.. scully and mulder. Either way, but I see Scully as more the windows 7 type
Charles (as in Babbage) and Ada.
William and Bruce (Gibson/Sterling).
Mel and Carl (Brooks/Reiner, of “The 2000-Year-Old Man”).
Tee and Pip.
Igor and Scarface (Because I enjoy Mr. Coulton too).
Napoleon and Illya.
Ralph and Sam (after the Looney Toons timeclock-punching sheepdog & coyote).
Bugs and Daffy (because hey, I mean, what the heck. And Daffy _is_ the deity of frustration, according to one source).
Kirk and Khan.
Laurel and Hardy.
Abbott and Costello. (Have to admit, I really like this pair.)
Londo and G’Kar. (Alternately, Sinclair and Sheridan. Each was “The One.”)
@Kris – understood. Looking forward to hearing the results after tonight.
It occurs to me that with the surname “Johnson” you could simply go to that blackboard shot in Blazing Saddles and pick two.
Riggs & Murtaugh. I believe Windows may be getting too old for this shit.
The deadline for submitted entries has passed. Overlord Miller and I will decide on a winner in the next day or so and make an official announcement by the end of the week.
[...] I can’t afford hipster glasses just now as…well, I recently purchased a MacBook; but I hope this t-shirt is sufficiently ironic. Posted by Kris on 4 Mar 2010 Categorized as [...]
[...] } A few days ago I entered a contest over at The Secret Lair to name Overlord Johnson’s new Laptop; In an effort to understand the fleeting whims and dark [...]