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Unfinished: Stacks of Shame
What do Stephen King’s The Stand, Connie Willis’ Doomsday Book, Robert Ludlum’s The Bourne Identity, Jim Butcher’s Fool Moon and Patricia Highsmith’s The Talented Mr. Ripley all have in common? I haven’t finished them. I have dozens of books at home that I’ve never even begun reading for one reason or another,1 but these are books that I’ve actually picked up and begun to read, but have yet to finish.
By far the most egregious example on this list is The Stand, which I’ve made no less than three attempts to read in the past twenty years.2 The opening—in which King describes the proliferation of the superflu—is one of the most “grab my brain and don’t let go” beginnings to a book that I’ve ever read, but at about the halfway point (or maybe even before then), the book lets go in a big way and I run out of steam. King gets a second mention because I stalled about halfway through Bag of Bones, too. Oh, and Black House, the sequel to The Talisman (both co-authored with Peter Straub); I didn’t make it more than a chapter or three through that one.
- Blood and Rust by S.W. Swiniarski. This is actually an omnibus containing two of Swiniarksi’s “[n]ovels of the Cleveland Undead”. I think I’m about three-quarters of the way through the first, Raven, and I really should go back and finish it, if only because the second (The Flesh, The Blood, and The Fire) involves Eliot Ness and The Torso Murders.
- Midnight’s Children by Salman Rushdie. I read most of this when I was in an actual, Faulkner-reading, wine-sipping, canape-nibbling book club, but I didn’t quite make it through and we moved on to the next book.3
- The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud. I was looking for something along the lines of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter novels, and Stroud’s Bartimaeus Trilogy might well fit that bill…provided I get around to finishing the first book.
- Sun of Suns (Book One of the Virga) by Karl Schroeder. This one counts double, as I own both the mass-market paperback and the unabridged audio editions and have started (but not finished) both.
- The Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving. I picked this one up after thoroughly enjoying Irving’s A Son of the Circus, but I’m not sure why I put it down again.
- Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom by Cory Doctorow. I’m sure my whuffie has decreased considerably now that I’ve admitted to not finishing this book.
- The Once and Future King by T. H. White. Also an omnibus. I made it through The Sword in the Stone and then got distracted by something else.
- Knight Life by Peter David. The only excuse I have for not finishing this one is that I keep trying to read it in bed and falling asleep. That’s not meant to be a criticism of the book; I often have a hard time reading in bed.
- Staying Tuned: A Life in Journalism by Daniel Schorr. I have a low tolerance for non-fiction, and I think I started daydreaming about colony ships and spell components right around a third of the way through Mr. Schorr’s autobiography.
- The Last Champion of Earth by Donald I. Templeman. I picked this one up when the author was doing a signing at the local Waldenbooks (or was it the B. Dalton?). I think this is just another instance where something shiny came along and distracted me.
- Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson. I’ve tried to read this one at least twice, with about the same degree of success on both occasions; which is to say: failure.
- The Dragon and the Unicorn by A. A. Attanasio. This one I may just abandon altogether, as the prose is a bit too dense for my liking.
- Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. It’s a shame I haven’t finished this book because the few chapters I have read are really quite funny.
- Robbing the Bees: A Biography of Honey by Holley Bishop. Another victim of my low tolerance for non-fiction and tendency to be distracted by suits of power armor.
- A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin. I loved A Game of Thrones, the first novel of Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series, but reading two installments back to back turned out to be a bit daunting and so I turned to lighter fare shortly after beginning A Clash of Kings. I really must get back to it.
- The Adventures of Master Li and Number Ten Ox by Barry Hughart. Another omnibus and one that I really, really need to finish because Hughart’s mythical China that-never-was is a fascinating setting populated with quirky, amusing characters. I’ve finished the first story, Bridge of Birds, but haven’t yet begun The Story of the Stone. The third and final tale is titled Eight Skilled Gentlemen. Four more Master Li and Number Ten Ox tales were supposed to follow, but Hughart was reportedly so disenchanted with how his publisher handled the books (and the poor sales that resulted) that he decided to end the series after only three novels.
Finally, this list would not be complete without mentioning L. Ron Hubbard’s 10-volume Mission: Earth series, of which I read eight volumes when I was a teenager and then…stopped. Why? Wretched hardcover is why. During one of my early misadventures with the Science Fiction Book Club, I failed to mail one of the monthly “if you don’t send this to us, we’re sending you books” cards4 and received a massive hardcover copy of Villainy Victorious, the ninth volume in the aforementioned series. I decided I would turn lemons into lemonade and, over the course of one summer, bought and read volumes one through eight of the series in wonderful, portable, non-hernia-causing mass-market paperback. Upon attempting to hoist the ninth volume from the shelf, I dislocated both shoulders, threw out my back, dropped the book on my foot and broke three toes. Thus did my hatred of hardcover editions begin and my progress through Hubbard’s decalogy end. Years later I purchased the mass-market paperback editions of both volumes nine and ten, but by then the distrust of anything related to Soltan Gris and [bleep]ing Jetero Heller had become rooted so deeply in my psyche that all it took was a glance at all ten volumes lined up on my bookshelf to set me limping away like an aged retiree, complaining of my lumbago. Finally, I sold the entire series to a used bookstore where it remains to this day, glaring at me from the shelf each time I linger in the science-fiction section.
With perhaps one exception I don’t consider any of the novels I’ve listed above “abandoned”; I fully intend to pick (almost) all of them up some day and read through to the end. This is not unheard of for me; it took me about ten years after I first put down Jonathan Lethem’s Gun, with Occasional Music to pick it up and finish it—I did have to start over from the beginning on that one—but I did; ditto for Patrick Süskind’s Perfume: The Story of a Murderer and Frank Herbert’s Dune. I may not get back to Bag of Bones before my son is in middle school, but I have every intent of getting back to it someday and when I finally finish it I’m sure I’ll be glad I did.
Do you have an unfinished stack of shame lurking on your bookshelves? Which books have you left unfinished and why? Are you inclined to return to a book that you’ve stalled on or simply abandon it?
- In most cases—Brother Termite by Patricia Anthony, Riptide by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child, Jhereg by Stephen Brust, and Blood Rites by Jim Butcher, just to name a few—the reason is probably something akin to ADD, or perhaps BADD: I buy books because they catch my eye and then put them aside to be read at some point in the uncertain future. Blood Rites, on the other hand, is the sixth book in The Dresden Files series, and I haven’t finished book two. [↩]
- I used the phrase “in the past twenty years” in relation to things I’ve said or done (or attempted to do); pardon me while I weep for my childhood…Okay, all done. [↩]
- Which was probably Jane Hamilton’s A Map of the World, which I just plain old didn’t read at all. [↩]
- One? Ha! More like every other one! Or were Mercedes Lackey’s Owlknight and Robert Reed’s Marrow and a half-dozen other novels part of that same shipment? [↩]
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Website: http://kjtoo.com/
About The Secret Lair
The Secret Lair is a podcast and blog which follows the real life adventures of Kris Johnson and Chris Miller. Together with their staff of contributors and countless minions, they seek to dominate the planet, or at least the tri-county area, using the twin weapons of Discussion and Overwhelming Opinion. And zombies. And maybe a Death Ray. Or two.
Just a quick note on Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series: Try the audiobooks. Most of them have been narrated by Roy Dotrice(John Lee narrated A Feast for Crows), and he really brings the characters alive with his voice acting. I greatly enjoyed them. The main problem I have with this series is that it ISN’T DONE YET!
As for books I’ve had a hard time completing… Well, there’s only a few. I have many more books on my shelf that haven’t even been cracked open yet. I feel ashamed now…
I just started Boneshaker by CM Priest (or is it [i]Boneshaker[/i]? Not sure about the code in this comment form). And I am at Chapter 4 and just don’t care about the fate of any of the characters, so I think that is going into the “unfinished” pile, sadly. I also could not make it through Someone Comes to Town, Someone Leaves Town by Cory Doctorow, even though I enjoyed what I read of it. Finally, Patricia McKillip is close to my favorite author – but I could not make it through The Tower at Stony Wood and in fact, at that point I quit trying to read her newer books.
I left off finishing the Elric saga to read the Checklist Manifesto because that one is a library book and I only have so long to finish it. I’m within 40 pages from the end then I hope to pop back to Elric before heading off to tackle Lovecraft’s Cthulhu mythos books. I have an almost endless list of ‘should read someday’ books.
The most memorable was Perdido Street Station by China Miéville. I got a quarter of the way through then let it sit for something like 6 months or more before I was ready to pick it up again. At that point I made it about half way before leaving it unread for nearly a year. I did finally finish and enjoyed it somewhat. I found that the level of description got a bit overwhelming after a while and the pace of the story wasn’t fast enough for my tastes. I think it was this chewiness that caused it to remain unfinished for such a long time for me.
Other books that I’ve never gotten around to finishing are (in no perticular order):
- A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson (It amused me at first, but when the pace dropped way off and I found something shinier to catch my attention.)
- The Well of Lost Plots by Jasper Fforde (I couldn’t get into this one. I stopped around the first or second chapter. Perhaps I will try again some day.)
- Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke (Again, didn’t really get into the story, and given how massive the book is, this was more than just a little bit discouraging. Again, perhaps someday I will try again. In the meantime, it makes an excellent exercise weight, step stool, door stop, and drink coaster.)
On a side note, there are many books I should have left unfinished and feel more shameful for having read them.
@SoAP — I’ve heard other folks (most notably Mick Bradley) make similar comments about Perdido Street Station, and such comments have definitely put me off picking up the book. I found that Neal Stephenson’s Anathem, while enjoyable, to be a bit too “explainy” for my taste, too.
I loved Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, but I understand that it’s just not for everyone. Overlord Miller, if I recall correctly was put off by the rather extensive footnotes. I think I own three copies of Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell—hardcover, trade (?) paperback and audio—and it took me several years to actually finish the book.
@SoAP (again) — I may do a separate “Finished: Stacks of Shame” post in the future, though the number of books I’m sorry I finished reading is pretty low.
@JJ — Technically, the first Elric novel ought to be in my stacks of shame, as I’ve only made it a few pages into that one. Also: Umberto Eco’s The Name of the Rose.
@Nycteris — I’d love to borrow Boneshaker if you really do plan on setting it aside (or after you finish it, if that’s the path you ultimately take); I don’t know that I’ll care about the characters more than you do, but I’m willing to try.
I’ve never tried to read another Doctorow novel, though I’ve heard good things about both Little Brother and Makers. I don’t dislike Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom, I’m just not sure I like it, either.
@Gaston — Probably the only thing that’s kept me from grabbing A Clash of Kings on Audible.com is that it costs two credits and I already own two copies of the book (a large-format ARC and the mass-market paperback). Not that it’s entirely unheard of for me to own three copies/edition of a particular novel (see Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell). That said, I really didn’t have any trouble making it through A Game of Thrones. I enjoy the way Martin writes; it’s just a huge story with a lot of characters and I wanted to take a little break to read something with a slightly smaller scope.
Oh! Little Brother is also one I never finished. Although it’s more from forgetfulness rather than not liking the story. I’m definitely planning on finishing that one. I can’t remember when I stopped reading it other than it was quite some time ago.
Alas, Boneshaker is a library book. I suprised myself by finishing Perdido Street Station though it was not entirely my cup of tea. And I greatly enjoyed Jonathan Strange and started writing a story inspired by it, that I ought to finish and post.
If we extend this to “unfinished series” I read the first book of these series, but did not finish the rest: Wheel of Time, Spiderwick Chronicles(I bought those, I ought to finish), Sword of Truth(got to book 3 and quit), The Saga of Recluce, The Riftwar Saga(I think I got 5 into that one, maybe 6)…
@Nycteris — Let’s see, series I haven’t finished:
The one I can think of is The Salmon of Doubt.
And that’s because I can’t quite bear to bring myself into a world with no Douglas Adams left to read.
@blob — I don’t think I even own a copy of The Salmon of Doubt. I think in my mind The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series just ends after Life, the Universe and Everything.
Wow. Lots to say here, as I’ve come to this topic late. Where to start? I never finished The Odyssey. I skipped a large section in the middle of The Two Towers as well. That was a rough read. And although the premise for The Hive by Chris Berman sounded great, I stopped after the second or third chapter – the writing was just BAD. He used the word “continence” when he meant “countenance”, and he repeatedly uses “cast” when he means “caste”. Inclusion of an Orion drive interested me in the novel, but poor writing drove me away.
Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom
Not Doctorow’s best, but I really liked the story. It’s the first story of his I ever read, and probably the only story I’ve ever printed out from an online source in order to read.
Cryptonomicon
I’m in the same boat. It seemed interesting, but I just couldn’t do it. Put it aside about 1/3 of the way in.
A Clash of Kings
The first two books in this series were amazingly gripping. The third wasn’t as good, but I couldn’t have put down one of the first two books for anything. I’d recommend giving it another go.
Mission: Earth
I read the first book in the series and hated it, so I never attempted to continue. Funny, because L.Ron Hubbard’s novel “Battlefield Earth” was excellent, despite the horrible movie version.
And in regards to the books that @Nycteris mentions…
Wild Cards
I absolutely loved the first book, and the second was good as well, although I’d like to have seen more from The Horde. I tried the third and decided that the series had declined, so that’s where I stopped.
Dresden Files
This is one series that has me entranced. They’re a bit pulp, but they’re easy reads and very very funny. I’ve got 3 books to go before I’m caught up, but I’m loving them.
The Sword of Truth
I read something like 8 or 10 books in this series – I can’t remember. The first book was great, but they go downhill after that.
Wheel of Time
The first 6 books or so in this series are stellar. Then they trail off. Book 7 and 8 are slow. Book 9 is much better. Book 10 is VERY slow. But the recently-released book 12, ghost written by Brandon Sanderson, is AMAZING. The series is back again, and I look forward to its conclusion.
Shannara
I’ve got to admit, I’ve read every Shannara book there is. Just finished one last week. I don’t like them as much as I did when I was 13, reading Terry Brooks and Piers Anthony all the time, but for some reason I still read them.
Inheritance
I’ve read them all. Not my favorite series, but I enjoy them.
Like you, I have a tendancy to read stuff, then sometimes not finish it like I should. So, I had to restart Wheel of Time after making it half-way through book 5 about 7 years ago. Of course, since everyone says that #12 is a stellar return to the series, I figured I would give it a go once again.
I never did finish the Merlin Trilogy by Stewart, although I did make it half-way through The Hollow Hills (Book 2). I feel guilty about not finishing it, because it really is a great trilogy +1.
I also read part of the first book in Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy, but couldn’t get past the first 200 pages of his anti-religion, anti-Catholic, anti-church, anti-everything overpowering, overburdensome pseudo-drivel. So I gave up.
Another collection of tripe that I thought would be good but turned out to be utter drivel was the Inheratence series. Eragon was okay, but Eldest was a near snoozer from page 10. So it went to the “bin of never to be read again.”