The Secret Lair

Following a brief discussion on the intertubewebs about oolong and assam teas, Overlord Johnson suggested new blend of tea that had never been seen in the wild before now. This new blend is the fabled Oolongassam.¹ Now, being the curious scientific sort, such an interesting sounding blend was just screaming to be brought to life. My research notes are as follows.

The Secret Lair Oolongassam Blend, version 1.0

Control Group 1: Stash YMY 1690 Oolong

• Color = Medium amber
• Flavor = Strong malt/grain
• Mouth feel = Average
• Classification = Oolong tea

Control Group 2: Allegro Breakfast Blend, a blend of Assam and Ceylon²

• Color = Dark auburn
• Flavor = Mellow but strong, not overwhelming
• Mouth feel = Very smooth
• Classification = Black tea

Blend: Oolong and Breakfast Blend mixed in equal parts totaling approximately³ a teaspoon of tea leaf per cup.

Steep Method: Given the fine grained consistency of the Breakfast Blend, an empty teabag was used. The brew was steeped for approximately⁴ three minutes.

Results: The final color was a medium auburn. The brew itself was strong, but not overpowering. There was a nice mild malty/grain flavor from the oolong. This aspect complimented the smooth mellowness of the assam. After initial sampling, a teaspoon of sugar and a splash of milk was added. This rounded out the tea quite nicely, pulling all the flavors together.

Rating: 4 out of 5 robots⁵

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1. The exact quote was “What’s an ‘oolongasm’?” Ah, Overlords. They’re so precious sometimes. [↩]
2. Yes, it’s not 100% assam, but in my defense, finding assam all by itself proves to be a very challenging task. Especially when impatience is involved. If I ever do acquire a pure assam, there will be a version 2.0 of this blend. [↩]
3. I really must get a better measuring device. [↩]
4. Yes, I have a watch. My scientific method fu was weak that day. [↩]
5. And yes, more robots are better, as if you had to ask. [↩]

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This entry was posted on Monday, June 7th, 2010 at 7:45 am and is filed under Featured Articles, Memoranda. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.