The Secret Lair

Part 1 – Myths About Introverts

I was recently in need of some educational credits for work, and I decided to check out a book about introverted leadership. To my dismay, I quickly discovered that the book was written by an extrovert. I gave up about halfway through the small tome, feeling ickier and more ill-used than usual.

After stewing on the issue for a while and writing a scathing review on Amazon, I decided to set the record straight regarding those whom society has judged based on their personality types. I have a personal hypothesis that geeky pursuits tend to appeal more towards introverts for a number of reasons, and so introversion may be overrepresented in that crowd. Feel free to use the following as a quick and easy reference for understanding the introverts that walk among us.

Myth: Introverts are shy and socially incompetent.

The first thing you need to understand about introversion is that it is all about energy. Where does your energy come from and what causes you to burn it? Introverts live in their heads, where they indulge rich and vivid imaginations. They charge their batteries with solitary activities where their minds are free to wander and explore. By contrast, extroverts live outside of their head, processing their thoughts out loud and gaining energy through interactive experiences.

Introverts are not shy. They simply do not feel the need to verbally share every thought that crosses their mind. Find a topic that interests an introvert or something about which they are passionate and you will find more conversation than you bargained for. At times, an introvert may seem unresponsive, but in fact they may be internally processing what is being discussed. Unfortunately, conversations often leave introverts behind, moving on to other topics before they have fully processed their thoughts. This reinforces the stereotype of shyness.

Myth: Introverts are afraid to speak in public.

Speaking in public is a skill, just like social skills or any other. It can be developed and honed through practice and training. You would be surprised at the number of actors, instructors, and professional speakers who are actually introverts. Anyone can be afraid of speaking in public, and being an extrovert does not give one a natural advantage at the skill. We have all seen the person who gets to a microphone, is obviously quite nervous, and then won’t shut up. Their abundance of words does not make them a good public speaker. It makes them an embarrassment. An introvert that overcomes a fear of speaking and hones that skill may actually make a better speaker, remaining succinct, entertaining, and on topic.

Myth: Introverts don’t like to socialize

Correction: Introverts don’t like to socialize with large groups of strangers making small talk about topics that do not interest them. To an introvert, that is a waste of words and emotional energy. Introverts prefer small groups of close friends discussing things about which they are passionate.

Myth: Introverts don’t have any friends.

Think in terms of breadth versus depth. An extrovert is more likely to have a broad group of people they refer to as “friends,” but an introvert might refer to those same people as “acquaintances.” Placing value on their private lives and thoughts, introverts may bring fewer people into that inner circle. It is mostly semantics. Introverts may have many friends, but only a few that they consider “close friends.” Extroverts are certainly capable of deep relationships, but may not draw clear boundaries between those and others they know.

Myth: Introverts are a minority.

This is actually a myth that stems from bad data that has been quoted and requited until it has become its own source reference.¹ The collective results of years using instruments like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator has shown that introverts, like most personality traits, represent half of the American population if not a little more. The problem is that we have created a culture that values extroversion. Professional expectations, the entertainment industry, and pervasive myths place introverts at a cultural disadvantage for success.

Myth: Introversion is a disability to overcome.

Baloney. Knowing that I am an introvert does not communicate anything about my skills and abilities. It tells me how I gain and spend my emotional energy; what will feed my soul or drain me. I don’t need to “overcome” anything in order to communicate effectively, manage people, or be productive. I just need a little self awareness.

Introvert husbandry is not such a difficult line of work. If you find yourself in a position to care for an introvert, understanding how their brain works will go a long way to smooth the road in developing your relationship. If you consider yourself to be an introvert, remember that a little self awareness is good for anyone. Understand the myths that exist out there, the expectations of an extroverted society, and your own natural tendencies, and you won’t seem like such a weirdo.

1. Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength, by Laurie Helgoe Ph.D. – an excellent read, if you are so inclined [↩]

For Memorial Day, I went to the birthplace of Superman.

I drove to a neighborhood called Glenville on the east side of Cleveland.  There, at 10622 Kimberly Ave, is former home of one Jerry Siegel. It was in this house where he and his buddy Joe Shuster created on of the greatest icons in world culture.

This is the place where Superman was born.

Last year, author Brad Meltzer and a group of comic fans raised over $100,000 to renovate the birthplace of the most famous fictional character of the twentieth century. He pointed out, quite fairly, the City of Cleveland was letting the house rot, and that it was going to come down to the fans to save it.

And save it, they did.

Now, there’s a sign out front, and a plaque that tells you what you’re looking it.  But unless you knew to come here, you’d never know it existed.

The house is both inspirational and heartbreaking at the same time.  It’s wonderful that a bunch of people pitched in to raise money to save it. At the same time, the neighborhood is a mess. The vacant, boarded-up houses nearby are rotting; one had a sign to ward off looters: “NO COPPER. PVC PLUMBING ONLY.”

There are no fast food joints here. No large-chain gas stations. No Seven-Elevens. Hardly any business at all.

If there was ever a place that needed a hero, Glenville is it.

And yet, sitting there in my car, looking at the house, I was inspired. Two kids, two poor, frustrated, hormone-addled high-school kids created something wonderful there. That deserves some respect. That deserves some homage; some reverence.

Superman’s fame isn’t tawdry; it isn’t cheap. Unlike Batman, it isn’t born from angst and darkness. Superman is one of the most rare creations: he’s famous for being the Good Guy. There’s a purity to Superman that is utterly lacking in most pop culture icons. It’s his signature, his staying power; it’s why people still look to this fictional character with hope.

These two kids took a man and gave him three things: 1) Morals, 2) Strength, and 3) Bulletproof Skin¹.  That’s it. That was the formula. Hardly original. In fact, other parts of the Superman myth were cribbed entirely from other sources. Doc Savage, for instance, was known as the Man of Bronze and had a Fortress of Solitude. Superman was not created in a vacuum…he was a mashup of things that came before, and he is greater than the sum of his parts.

As a creative guy, this gives me hope. There is a myth of originality that creative folks cling to, as if there is anything new under the yellow sun. All we can do is remix and recast not only without shame, but also without guile.

And greatness? Superman achieved worldwide acclaim and recognition. The Siegel and Shuster families, however, have been fighting for the rights to Superman for years.

And the house in Glenville, where the two boys drew on old pieces of wallpaper, nearly passed away entirely.

The house serves as both inspiration and cautionary tale. It is both despair and hope, both dread and faith.

And between those, it endures.

Just like all of us.

(Click below to read the plaque)

(Originally published on Unquiet Desperation)

1. In the beginning, he couldn’t fly. He could only leap. [↩]

In just a few short days my son will be two hundred and twenty-two weeks old. I had planned to track his age in weeks until he reached the age of majority, but like many of my harebrained schemes that plan fell by the wayside somewhere in the past four years.¹ It was to be a testament of my geekhood. “How old is your son?” people would ask after he did something incredibly cute and/or precocious. “Oh,” I’d say, in the most casual and off-hand manner possible, “he’ll be a hundred and thirty-seven weeks old tomorrow.”

I’ve made all sorts of geeky plans that I’ve failed to follow up on—when’s the last time I wrote a review for The Great Superhero Movie Project? Anyone? Anyone?—but I don’t feel even mildly disappointed in myself this time. Why? Well, because it’s a gimmick, for starters; it’s contrived and forced and I can do better. I have done better. See, in the last two hundred and twenty-two weeks, instead of keeping track of how many weeks have gone by I’ve been busy creating a walking, talking, blue-eyed, blond-haired testament to my geekhood.

If you’ve read my personal blog over the past couple of years, you’re probably aware that my young apprentice…

• …thinks the Belle (Disney’s Beauty & The Beast) PEZ dispenser my niece gave me is “yellow Princess Leia”.
• …wondered whether the Thanksgiving turkey we bought last year had been frozen in carbonite.
• …can recite the opening voiceover to Knight Rider.²
• …refers to Bane from LEGO Batman as “the wrestler who throws guys to Heaven” and The Evil Mola Ram from LEGO Indiana Jones as “the evil moron.”

He’s also been playing the Xbox since a few months before his third birthday, has his own set of oversized polyhedral dice, has seen the original Indiana Jones trilogy³ and all six Star Wars films multiple times,⁴ and knows most of the words to Jonathan Coulton’s office zombie song, “Re: Your Brains.”⁵

I’ll admit to having some mixed feelings about this. The geek in me, already a rather substantial fellow, swells with pride at my son’s burgeoning geekdom; the responsible parent in me⁶ wonders whether the bulk of the pop culture that defines my own geekdom may be a bit too violent for a four-year-old.

I sometimes hear parents talk about the sorts of movies their six-year-old children are “ready” to watch, and they’re almost invariably some of the same movies my son has been watching since he was three. In some parental circles, Spongebob Squarepants—one of my son’s favorites for well over a year now—is spoken of in a tone of voice and terms one generally reserves for telemarketers and the Anti-Christ.

Last week, my son was racing through the house singing the aforementioned zombie song (which he learned playing Rock Band 2 with my wife and me) and I had a vision of his pre-school—he starts in the Fall—calling to tell us that our son is singing songs about bashing people’s heads open and eating their brains.⁷ In my head, the conversation plays out something like this:

TEACHER: Mr. Johnson, Kyle is singing songs about killing people and eating their brains.
ME: Has he said anything about eating their eyes?
TEACHER: Wh-what?
ME: Their eyes. Is he going to eat their eyes?
TEACHER: Well…no. No, I believe he said he wouldn’t eat their eyes, but I don’t see how that—
ME: All right, then. That’s not unreasonable, is it? No one’s going to eat anyone’s eyes.

This conversation is, naturally, followed by a frantic search for another pre-school.

“You created that,” Laura said as we both watched him racing around in circles singing about undead office workers. She chuckled when she said it, and that’s how I know it’s going to be all right.

1. Probably right around week ten. [↩]
2. He now knows The Lord’s Prayer, as well, for those curious as to who “won” that particular exchange. [↩]
3. I brought Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull home from the library several months ago, but it was received with something less than enthusiasm. On the other hand, every fedora he sees is instantly declared an “Indiana Jones hat”. [↩]
4. The expurgated versions. For example, we don’t watch the defeat of Anakin Skywalker at the lightsaber of Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith and we skip everything under Pankot palace except the mine car chase in Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom. [↩]
5. Okay, he’s got his own interpretation in some places. For example, “I don’t wanna nitpick, Tom” becomes “I don’t want a knick-knack, Tom”. [↩]
6. He’s there, but he’s much, much younger than The Geek. [↩]
7. Because we live in Bizarro World, I seem to have no trouble introducing my four-year-old son to the concept of a zombie’s appetite for brains, but I censor the lyric “we’re all busy as hell” to “we’re all busy as heck” every time we sing it together. [↩]

In this episode of The Secret Lair, we’re joined by hacktivist and digital culture commentator Thomas “cmdln” Gideon and a bit later in the episode by author and DIY enthusiast Matthew Wayne Selznick (Brave Men Run). The topic is one near and dear to our hearts: free content. This time out, we’re looking at free content from the perspective of the podcast novelist, and we begin our discussion with the announcement that J.C. Hutchins, one of the most popular podcast novelists, will no longer be offering new content for free.

Discussion: Free Content vs. Paying the Creator

• Our discussion was prompted by a blog post from novelist J.C. Hutchins, author of 7th Son: Descent and Personal Effects: Dark Art.
• Podiobooks.com is home to a wide array of free podcast novels, including the entire 7th Son series.
• Dave Slusher at Evil Genius Chronicles: “Publishing 2010: The Beginning of the End or The End of the Beginning?“.
• How is price related to elasticity of demand? Cory Doctorow discusses this in an interview on Beyond the Book.
• Another author who has used podcasting as a springboard to more traditional publishing is Scott Sigler, author of Ancestor, Infected and Contagious, among others.
• Matthew Wayne Selznick asked (on Facebook), “When was the last time you paid for something creative (music, book, movie, art, etc.) even though it was also available to you for free?” The responses were interesting and sometimes eye-opening.
• Does the podcast novel walk a fine line between marketing tool and gimmick?
• How far is podcasting behind blogging on the adoption curve?
• Is there a sense of entitlement to free works among fans of podcast novelists?
• Mike Masnick at TechDirt says you have to (1) connect with fans and (2) create a reason to buy.
• Selznick: Even providers of free content like Jared Axelrod don’t expect to see direct financial return from that same content.
• What is neo-patronage? Matt explains.
• Thomas provides an example of an artist utilizing neo-patronage: cartoonist/animator Nina Paley.
• Matthew points to Another Sky Press, a publisher that lets customers decide how much they want to pay for a book.
• Matthew also mentions Amanda Palmer.
• Chris mentions Magnatune, which allows customers to set their own prices for music.
• Some artists have used The Ransom Model (or crowd-funding) to support their efforts.
  • Jill Sobule’s 2009 album, California Years, was entirely funded by her fans.
• Did the audience J.C. Hutchins created when he released the 7th Son podcasts let him down when it came time to pony up for the print edition?
• Mur Lafferty offers a variety of content for free: novels, short stories, dramatized fiction and advice for “wannabe writers”.
• John Scalzi is another author who successfully used free content to launch a successful (science-fiction) writing career.
• What does a creator owe their audience?
  • Neil Gaiman: Entitlement Issues; or, George R. R. Martin is not your bitch.
  • Matt isn’t currently working on the sequel to Brave Men Run, and he tells us why. While you’re waiting, you may want to check out Hazy Days and Cloudy Nights.
• Selznick: A better, more ubiquitous form of micro-payments would help make neo-patronage more viable.
  • Could Peter Sunde’s Flattr (currently in beta) be that system?
• The community that has sprung up around podcast novelists is very insular, and incredibly passionate, but have we been drinking too much of our own Kool-Aid? We try to put some perspective to the whole business.
  • Emer Sugrue: Websight: Podiobooks.com.
• Harlan Ellison: Pay the Writer (contains NSFW language).

Lairkeeping

• Our theme music is “Skullcrusher Mountain” by Jonathan Coulton.
• Visit us on the web at trip-dubs dot thesecretlair dot com.
• Try StatusNet for those short updates. This service is invite-only, so send us a note if you’d like to join.
• Got something to say that 140 characters just won’t cover? Say it on our community site.
• Coming up on The Secret Library, The Atrocity Archives by Charles Stross.
• Did you know that The Secret Lair is powered by WordPress? Well, you should; it’ll be on the quiz.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:13:26 — 67.2MB)

Love is in the air here at the Secret Lair, and all personnel are advised that rebreathers must be worn on levels A14 through B31, and access to level B32 and lower requires (a) special security clearance and (b) use of an approved Hazmat suit. Once pheromone levels have returned to normal and a cleaning crew has dealt with the mess on B32, special access restrictions will be lifted. In the meantime, if you feel more-than-usually amorous toward your Overlords, co-minions or (in many cases) yourself, please contact Dr. Cmar for a dose of the anti-toxin.

In this episode of the podcast, we discuss the lover’s spat between Amazon.com, the largest bookseller in the universe, and Macmillan, one of the six largest publishers in that very same universe. We also discuss some myths surrounding Valentine’s Day, which looms like a shadow over—I mean, is the second or third most wonderful time of the year.

Amazon vs Macmillan

Apple introduced the iPad which—among other things—is going to be an eBook reader. Why does this cause a fight between Amazon and Macmillan? It’s all about the pricing model.

• John Scalzi breaks it down for us.
• Charles Stross shares an outsider’s perspective.
• Tobias Buckell offers his take on the whole mess.
• John Scalzi presents a deeply slanted play on why publishing won’t die.
• Cat Valente doesn’t want the publishing industry to go away, either.

Promo: Harvey by Phil Rossi

Staff Reports

Chief Medical Officer Cmar files his latest progress report, in which he once again questions our judgment. This seems to be a common theme in The Bad Doctor’s reports. Meanwhile, Minister of Crackpot Schemes and Unfortunate Synergies Jay Lynn seems to be…surrounded.

In our new segment, Ask the Overlords, Don asks about the possibility of purchasing a gently-used space shuttle for a mere $28.8 million.

Promo: I Should Be Writing, now featuring All Write!, a webcomic drawn by Natalie Metzger, our very own Secretary of Artistic Propaganda.

Valentine’s Day

Saints and cards and massacres, oh my!

• The name of that Family Ties spin-off was The Art of Being Nick. Only the pilot was ever aired, and only once.
• That St. Valentine was an amorous fellow. And there were three of him. Does that make him polyamorous?
• What’s a little Lupercalia between friends?
• Lupa: wolf.
• Loofah: not a wolf.
• How do Chicagoans celebrate St. Valentine’s Day? Keep your chocolates and your greetings cards. Don’t bother sending flowers. Instead, say it with bullets.

Lairkeeping

• Visit the blog. Oh, wait, you’re already here.
• Try StatusNet for those short updates.
• Got something to say that 140 characters just won’t cover? Say it on our new community site.
• Coming up on The Secret Library, The Atrocity Archives by Charles Stross.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 49:09 — 45.0MB)

We are joined in the Lair by one Mick Bradley, who can be heard on the Canon Puncture podcast discussing all manner of things related to tabletop gaming. These are apparently games that can be played using little more than the top of a table and your boundless imagination. From what I’ve heard the whole thing smacks of a scam, as neither the table nor the boundless imagination are included in the purchase price.

If Mr. Bradley’s name resonates with some of you, it is likely because the conditioning wears off over time and you should report to the nearest Retcon Reinforcement Center for additional therapy. I assure you that Overlord Miller and I never, ever appeared on a podcast known as The Round Table from the House of the Harping Monkey, and on such podcast we never discussed the monomyth as it applies to gaming and popular culture. Not ever.

Staff Reports

• Voicemail from Captain Tortuga of the S.S. Isopod. Our RCPJs have been delivered! Our RCPJs have been delivered! Royal Canadian Painted Jackalopes? Oh, no. Far more insidious.
• Ken Newquist reviews Magic the Gathering: Duels of the Planeswalkers for the Xbox 360. Sounds great, but is there an add-on that allows me to slip the digital cards into mylar sleeves to keep them in near-mint condition?
• Chief Medical Officer’s Progress Report. The bad doctor reports that we had a bit of a run-in with NASA (again). Meanwhile, if that ointment were any closer to our Minister of Crackpot Schemes and Unfortunate Synergies it would bite him.

Discussion

One word: storygaming. I still think that’s two words, but the man threatened to hack off my thumbs if I hit the spacebar when I typed it, so we’ll leave it as written. Long time listeners may know that Overlord Miller and I have been carrying around a chip on our should regarding so-called “story games” (shut up; that’s totally two words) for some time now. We’ve brought Mick Bradley in to hug…er, talk…it out and see if we can’t get over it already.

• Ron Edwards. Game designer (Sorceror). Co-founder of The Forge, and indie-RPG community. Author of “System Does Matter“.
• Vincent Baker. Game designer (Dogs in the Vineyard).
• Storn Cook. Artist. Former co-host of the Sons of Kryos podcast. Rabble rouser.
• Judd Karlman. Former co-host of the Sons of Kryos podcast.
• Jeff Lower. Former co-host of the Sons of Kryos podcast.
• Paul Tevis. Upstanding citizen. Host of the Have Games, Will Travel podcast.
• World of Darkness. Vampires and Werewolves and Wraiths, oh my! Role-playing game/world originally conceived by Mark Rein-Hagen.
• Dungeons & Dragons. The mother of all Lord of the Rings rip-offs and the stereotypical “traditional” RPG. Created by Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson.
• Primetime Adventures. The story game that started the whole kerfuffle. Created by Matt Wilson.
• Story Games. An Intartube forum where hemp-shirt-wearing hippies gather in drum circles to talk about their feelings. Allegedly.

Promo

• 7th Son: Descent by J.C. Hutchins.

Lair Keeping

• Our theme music is “Skullcrusher Mountain” by Jonathan Coulton.
• Join our new anti-social network, The Secret Community.
• Follow us on Twitter.

Staff

• Secretary of Artistic Propaganda: Natalie Metzger.
• Minister of Crackpot Schemes and Unfortunate Synergies: Jay “The Kingfish” Lynn.
• Chief Medical Officer: Dr. John Cmar.
• Commandante of Airborne Legions: David Moore.
• Minister of Suspicious Substitutions and Unreasonable Facimiles: The Cynical Optimist.
• Minister of Secrets and Subterfuge: Classified.

Story gaming. Ha! OW!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:07:40 — 62.0MB)

In a planning meeting for our demisemicentepisode one of the minions suggested that we ”pull out all the stops”, at which point Dr. Pindar, our Director of Etymological Accuracy and General Nitpicking, pointed out that The Secret Lair does not have a pipe organ installed. This, quite naturally, led to several hours of rational discourse on whether, given the lack of pipe organs, we ought to leave some of the stops in or simply not bother with the stops at all. The discussion concluded, as is often the case, with a face-stabbing. Further planning meetings were deemed unnecessary.

Our special guest is Jay “The Kingfish” Lynn from the Metamediocrity audio comic book. Speaking of special and mediocre, our special sauce is Thousand Island Dressing blended with mayonnaise. Jay joins us at the International House of Johnson for a discussion about superheroes and approximately three inches of latex.

Promo: Quarter Share by Nathan Lowell.

Chief Medical Officer’s Progress Report #1. In which the Bad Doctor is extremely disappointed with what passes for a pandemic these days.

Discussion: What is a superhero?

• Are transforming robots from the planet Cybertron superheroes?
• What about androids built right here on Earth?
• Does a superhero have to possess meta-human abilities?
• Can you break Overlord Miller’s brain by suggesting that Batman isn’t actually a superhero?
• Are figures of legend and myth (e.g., King Arthur, Hercules) superheroes?

Musical Interlude: “White Wedding” by The Harvey Girls.

Welcome to the Ministry of Crackpot Schemes and Unfortunate Synergies

• Jay applies the Polly Pocket Principle to superheroes to create the next must-have “action figure” for young boys.
• But would it work?

On the other side of the coin…

• Let’s talk about anti-heroes (or anti-superheroes).
• Are Saw and Jason Vorhees superheroes after a fashion? Are they heroes at all?
• What do horror movies, Grimm’s Faerie Tales and urban legends have to do with superheroes, if anything?
• Are we really just talking about various forms of morality tales?
• You know, I think it’s entirely possible that we’ve begun to digress, just a little. That never happens!

The Secret Library: There’s a rumor going ’round that the Overlords will be discussing Christopher Moore’s Lamb on an upcoming (perhaps even the next) episode, so the MoCSaUS (boy, that’s awfully close to “mucous”, isn’t it?) has suggested that our next book be The Time Traveller’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.

Lairkeeping

• Our theme song is still “Skullcrusher Mountain” by Jonathan Coulton, because it’s podsafe and has the words “secret lair” in it. Come on, you knew that, right? Speaking of podsafe, did you know that Overlord Miller’s podsafeword is “Terra”?
• Join our forums and stir up some trouble. Go ahead; I triple-dog dare you.
• Phenylketonurics rejoice! Our contact form contains no phenylalanine.
• If you prefer e-mail, you may leave feedback. At The Secret Lair. Dot com.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 51:15 — 46.9MB)

This episode of The Secret Lair was recorded in an unnamed coffeeshop somewhere in an eastern suburb of the largest city in northeastern Ohio. No baristas were harmed during the recording of this episode, but Kris did some serious damage to a blueberry muffin.

Your Overlords are Old Men or “Infirmateam Assemble!”

• Decaffeinated coffee? Non-dairy creamer? Artificial sweetener? Who wants to rule a world where such things exist?
• We do.

Turning Pages

• Chris has high praise for The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss, which was recently nominated for the Compton Crook Award.
• Kris is reading Elric of Melniboné by Michael Moorcock.
• We are still reading The Sky People by S.M. Stirling for The Secret Library. Kris is very nearly finished. Are you?

What Makes a Good Novel?

• Chris wants to be engrossed and transported.
• Chris likes the poetic style of the 1960′s. Poetic style doesn’t necessarily require the ingestion of psychotropic pharmaceuticals…but it can’t hurt.
• Chris would like Patrick Rothfuss to rewrite Robert Jordan’s entire Wheel of Time series. Bring on the hate mail.
• Chris prefers dialog to description.
• Chris says, “Tolkien was a hack.” I’m paraphrasing.
• Kris likes lighter fare; what he calls “beach novels” (see James Patterson’s Maximum Ride series).
• Kris also wants good description, something he feels is lacking in Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series.
• Chris wants a good mystery novel. The last one he read was by Ellis Peters (Brother Cadfael Mysteries).

Promo!

• Max Quick: Book Two – The Two Travellers by Mark Jeffrey premieres 01 May 2008 on Podiobooks.com. You can subscribe to Max Quick: Book One – The Pocket and The Pendant at Podiobooks.com, and you should: it’s the first podiobook selection for The Secret Library. More information on the series is available on the official web site.

Books Into Movies

• Chris doesn’t think The Name of the Wind should be made into a movie; there’s simply too much that would not survive the translation.
• Kris thinks that translating Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Süskind to film was ill-advised.
• Kris also hopes that there are no plans to adapt Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides to film.
• Chris wanders off into Touchy-Feely Land for a few minutes. Someone give that man a hug.
• …aaaand we’re back. Kris is glad Jurassic Park made the jump from pulp and ink to celluloid.

Evil Experiments

• The overlords will be meeting each morning at a local coffeeshop for more decaf, powdered non-milk and aspartame.
• And writing.
• Chris wants to write flash fiction.
• Kris wants to write a horror story based on his exposure to countless hours of children’s television. There’s an animal in trouble somewhere.
• During our daily writing experiments, we will likely make use of resources like Plotstorming.com.

Miscellanea

• Batman & Robin: Clooney had rigidity issues.
• Kris ruins The Empire Strikes Back for everyone.
• Wesley Clifford: not human? You decide.

Lairkeeping

• Thank you to Zach from the Geek Survival Guide for beta-testing our new feedback e-mail address. We welcome your feedback. At The Secret Lair. Dot Com.
• Be sure to visit our official community and The Secret Library.
• Our theme music is still provided by the extremely talented and well-bearded gentleman, Jonathan Coulton.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 52:41 — 48.2MB)

Due to an unfortunate accident, The Secret Lair’s official stenographer was eaten by a crocodile last week.¹ While our search for a replacement continues, it has fallen to me to provide show notes for The Secret Lair Episode 0009.² Unfortunately, I’m a very busy overlord lately and rather than delay release of the episode and further,³ I’m going to post the scraps⁴ I’ve got now and fill in the rest once I get an hour or so to myself.

April Fool’s Day

• Economic Stimulation Package. Did American Public Radio’s Marketplace play an April Fool’s Day joke on Chris?
• YouTube rickrolled everyone.
• So did Mahalo Daily.
• The Electronic Frontier Foundation is moving their headquarters.
• Twatr is an interesting new Twitter-clone…for your genitals.

WordPress 2.5

• …has a new administrator interface. Chris isn’t a fan.
• …has a new image/media management system…which doesn’t seem to work on The Secret Lair.
• …has a redesigned Write Post screen. We don’t much care for it.
• Kris has more to say about WordPress 2.5 on his blog.

Unquiet Desperation

• Unquiet Desperation is an online poetry ‘zine.
• It is also Chris’ blog and podcast.
• Awkward!

Minion Recruiting Board

• Thanks to P.G. Holyfield and Scott Sigler, we have a number of job openings at the Lair.
• Fill out our super-secret minion application form, if you can find it.

The Secret Library

• Our current novel is The Sky People by S.M. Stirling.
• Our current graphic novel is Shooting War by Anthony Lappé and Dan Goldman .
• NEW! At the request of our minions, we have decided to add a podiobook section to The Secret Library. Our first selection is The Pocket and the Pendant by Mark Jeffrey. Subscribe at Podiobooks.com.

RPGs

• The Dresden Files RPG bleeding edge beta continues.
• Gunnar scored some WarHammer RPG 2nd Edition sourcebooks and Half-Price Books recently.

Movies and Television

• Kris saw Spider-Man 3 and wishes he hadn’t.
• Chris says it was worse than Batman and Robin.
• Check out How It Should Have Ended. (YouTube)
• The Spectacular Spider-Man is on the Kids’ WB and is far more entertaining.

Housekeeping

• We have a feedback address, where you may send us feedback. At The Secret Lair. Dot Com.
• There’s also a contact form, which no one has used yet. Will you be the first?
• It is entirely possible to join our official community, should you be so inclined.
• Our theme music is “Skullcrusher Mountain” by Intertroubadour extraordinaire, Jonathan Coulton.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 44:03 — 40.3MB)

1. Let’s not be concerned with who may or may not have forgotten to engage the magnetic couplers in the holding environment. Pointing fingers isn’t going to get us a new stenographer and playing The Blame Game isn’t helping morale. [↩]
2. Writing the show notes is not punishment. As co-overlord, I’m above punishment, even if you could prove conclusively that it was me. Which you can’t. [↩]
3. What’s that? Maybe I should have delayed release of the crocodile? Oh, great. That’s very mature. How about this: maybe you should think twice before you go hiring your relatives, okay? People get eaten, gassed, disintegrated, mutated and shunted to other dimensions around here all the time, but when it’s your cousin it’s suddenly a big deal. [↩]
4. Shut up. Just shut up! [↩]

Due to a problem with the security system, the Overlords are trapped inside the Secret Lair’s kitchen.

Show notes will be posted as soon as the laserdrill breaks through the vibranium doors.

- Minion #34720/B

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 54:34 — 50.0MB)