http://www.thesecretlair.com/main This is not your parents' basement Thu, 03 Jul 2008 22:01:00 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Reporting from Room 929 at the Crown Plaza hotel, Overlord Johnson is joined by sometime-nemesis David Moore and almost-never-nemesis Mario Dongu, both of The Game Master Show,  for the Origins 2008 report. Shannon Farrell is also present, but he quickly flees in terror, and rightly so. Where is Overlord Miller? The ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/07/03/the-secret-lair-episode-0013-origins-2008/ ShareThis http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/06/27/the-secret-lair-comic-0006-switching-to-decaf/ To: All Personnel From: Overlord Kris Subject: Follow-up from Safety Awareness Meeting (25 June 2008) In reviewing the minutes from the Daily Safety Awareness Stand-up Meeting, I came across two questions that I wanted to personally address. Shouldn't these meetings be held on an hourly basis? Shouldn't the "Days Since Last Accident" sign be updated ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/06/25/internal-memo-836570698489-safety-first/ Det visar anteckningar för detta avsnitt var oavsiktligt förlorade när köra genom vårt nya översättningen motor från Ikea. När vi får unBorked kommer vi att få några riktigt påpekar upp. No, really. [Insert obligatory announcement about sacking those responsible for the previous notes here.] A word of warning: there is some very uncensored ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/06/16/the-secret-lair-0012-our-holocaust-room/ To: All Personnel From: Management Subject: Overlord Miller's Head It has recently come to my attention that many (if not all) of you are laboring under the mistaken belief that the headless body in Stasis Chamber 7-Alpha belongs to Overlord Miller, and that the head which is normally attached to said body was accidentally teleported ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/05/22/more-rumor-control/ ShareThis http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/05/16/the-secret-lair-comic-0005-interviewing-minions-part-1/ C.A. Sizemore has been a fan of The Secret Lair since day one. He has provided us with feedback and even contributed a manuscript that we simply haven't gotten around to publishing yet. C.A. has been with us since long before The Secret Lair became a reality: he followed us ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/05/12/condolences-to-ca-sizemore/ Due to an issue with the temporal warp units, the Overlords are unable to converse with you.  Instead, BECKY, the AI which keeps order within the Lair, presents some original fiction: the fruit of the Overlords' daily writing meetups at the café. In our first piece, The Monologue,  Kris orates grandly before one ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/05/08/the-secret-lair-episode-0011-becky-presents/ [click for full size]ShareThis http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/04/18/the-secret-lair-comic-0004-fresh-out-of-minions/ This episode of The Secret Lair was recorded in an unnamed coffeeshop somewhere in an eastern suburb of the largest city in northeastern Ohio. No baristas were harmed during the recording of this episode, but Kris did some serious damage to a blueberry muffin. Your Overlords are Old Men or "Infirmateam ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/04/17/the-secret-lair-episode-0010-what-makes-a-goodohh-shiny/ Due to an unfortunate accident, The Secret Lair's official stenographer was eaten by a crocodile last week. ((Let's not be concerned with who may or may not have forgotten to engage the magnetic couplers in the holding environment. Pointing fingers isn't going to get us a new stenographer and playing ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/04/10/the-secret-lair-episode-0009-no-fools-allowed/ [click image to view full size] For those of you that may not be aware of the man known as the Future Dark Overlord™ Scott Sigler, we at The Secret Lair do not endorse Scott's most excellent sci-fi/horror novel Infected. Do not, I repeat, do not go out on April 1st ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/03/31/the-secret-lair-comic-0003-youve-been-infected/ [click image to view full size]ShareThis http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/03/26/the-secret-lair-comic-0002-the-secret-lair-blood-drive/ The Secret Library: Market Forces by Richard K. Morgan When we found Ed Dale roaming through the The Secret Library stacks in a daze, we naturally assumed that one of the test subjects from the Cerebral Transference Laboratory had wandered in after the Matter Phase-Shift Emitter prototype in the adjacent lab ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/03/22/the-secret-lair-episode-0008-market-forces-by-richard-k-morgan/ [click image to view full size]ShareThis http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/03/16/the-secret-lair-comic-0001-the-lair-gets-a-pet/ Due to a problem with the security system, the Overlords are trapped inside the Secret Lair's kitchen. Show notes will be posted as soon as the laserdrill breaks through the vibranium doors. - Minion #34720/BShareThis http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/03/04/the-secret-lair-episode-0007-trapped-in-the-galley/ If you question the effectiveness of our Retrieval Squads, you may wish to ask Mr. Ken Newquist about his opinion on the subject. They came in the dead of night and before Ken was even aware that his home had been infiltrated he was subdued, transported to one of our ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/02/25/the-secret-lair-episode-0006-interrogation-of-ken-newquist/ Come, children. Gather 'round and listen to the first official promo for The Secret Lair. Utilizing our satellite ((Before it was shot down by the Navy)) we tracked down J.C. Hutchins where he's been hiding all this time and we cut off his only escape route. Then, we had beers ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/02/21/the-secret-lair-promo-0001/ Follow me into the darkest depths of The Secret Lair, along passages watched by unseen, ever-vigilant eyes, past barred portals and shadowy niches and, finally, through the ancient wooden door that leads to row upon row of shelves piled high with tomes as old as the very mists of time. ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/02/18/the-secret-lair-episode-0005-fatherland-by-robert-harris/ We're happy to announce that our Propaganda Team has provided us with badges for your Social Networks or your Blog, so that we can identify you as loyal to us when the revolution comes. Use them wisely. ShareThis http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/02/15/the-secret-lair-twitter-blog-badges/ Just wanted to keep everyone updated: We've changed the Mobile Equipment of Choice from the Zoom H4 to the Zoom H2. The reason for this was twofold. We do not need everything the H4 can do The H2 is cheaper, which means we get to start using it faster. Thanks ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/02/12/changing-h4-to-h2/ To: All Personnel From: Management Subject: Sub-basement Flooding Despite what many of you may have heard, The Secret Lair was not invaded by subterranean mutants last night. The lower sub-basements are closed due to flooding brought on by unseasonal rainfall coupled with melting snow, not because we are repairing a sixty-foot wide hole ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/02/09/rumor-control/ Greetings, hapless victim and/or loyal minion! You are being afforded a rare opportunity to provide feedback to your evil overlords with little or no fear of retributive disintegration. In just over a week, we will be recording a new episode of The Secret Lair in which we will discuss the novel ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/02/06/memo-from-the-secret-librarian/ Your Overlords would like to publicly thank Natalie Metzger for her fine work on the logo for The Secret Lair. She has been named the Secretary of Artistic Propaganda, will be give one of the office near the cappuccino machine, and has a boy on order from Barbados to serve ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/02/05/we-have-branding-let-the-evil-begin/ "I have a $70,000 sliver of meteor to stop the one from Metropolis; with you, all I need is a penny for a book of matches." —Batman (Jeremy Sisto), Justice League: The New Frontier It might seem cynical of The Dark Knight to keep an artifact capable of destroying his most powerful ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/02/03/the-secret-lair-episode-0004-always-watching/ The Secret Lair would like to thank Jennifer Toews for her donation toward our mobile recording rig. Thanks to her donation of $20, she's now one of our Official Henchmen. That means that, when we go on a recon mission (or field trip), we'll be sending her a little souvenir ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/01/27/official-henchman-1-reports-for-duty/ Due to a coolant tank overflow last weekend, we were forced to temporarily abandon our strategy session and adjourn to the screening room for an impromptu movie night. It is safe to assume that the coolant fumes we inhaled in the evacuation (one of the most orderly we've had thus ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/01/26/the-secret-lair-episode-0003-were-watching/ Merlin Mann has caught on to part of plan #ER1/B. Control, dispatch the Jackbooted Thugs to deal with him. That is all.ShareThis http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/01/25/termination-notice-00000043-merlin-mann/ To All, You will see some new faces around the compound over the next few weeks as the first stages of our Timegate Program begin to bear fruit. Certain select members of races from the future and past have been brought to Lair to gather intelligence on various segments of ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/01/22/memo-00004569-timegate-receiving-and-assimilation/ Returning to the scene of the crime, your malevolent hosts, Chris Miller and Kris Johnson, bring back another episode of The Secret Lair. This time, we open the doors to The Secret Library, revealing a few of the tomes that have captured our attention recently. We both have accounts at GoodReads. We ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/01/19/the-secret-lair-episode-0002-the-secret-library/ We are one step closer to having our grand plan realized. Natalie Metzger has been tirelessly slaving away on a logo for your beloved Evil Overlords. Behold, the rough draft! ((That, in the background, is the Cleveland skyline, for those of you not wordly enough to recognize it on sight)) ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/01/18/preview-the-secret-lair-logo/ In the first episode of The Secret Lair, Chris and I mentioned that we had each seen a movie in December. One of those movies won two Golden Globe Awards over the weekend. Guess which one: Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (Chris saw it.) Alien vs. Predator: Requiem (Kris saw ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/01/17/behind-the-conspiracy-the-secret-lair-influences-the-golden-globes/ Being one of the evil masterminds who founded The Secret Lair has its perks: the private parking space is nice, ((Unlike traditional reserved parking spaces at office buildings and apartment complexes, my space at The Secret Lair is absolutely and instantaneously reserved. I almost feel sorry for anyone foolish enough ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/01/15/masterminds-notebook-the-right-hand-man/ To: All Personnel From: Management Subject: Use of OSHA-approved warning signs. The warning signs that were posted at fifteen-foot intervals around the perimeter of the moat have been removed and should not be replaced. Bright yellow signs informing unauthorized visitors of the existence of the moat and its various carnivorous inhabitants are not ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/01/14/internal-memo-00031714/ "Infidel Defilers. They shall all drown in lakes of blood." - Thulsa DoomShareThis http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/01/10/villanous-quote-1/ Attention: On Monday Jan 14., I'll be interrogating...erm...interviewing the Divine Ms. Mur about all manner of things, notably her book Playing For Keeps, as well as other topics. Do you have anything you'd like me to cover?ShareThis http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/01/09/upcoming-interview-mur-lafferty/ Flowing like so much liquid hot magma through the Intertubes, it's the inaugural episode of The Secret Lair podcast. This episode, hosted by evil masterminds Chris Miller and Kris Johnson, was recorded in one or more undisclosed locations near another undisclosed location near Cleveland, Ohio. Prepare yourself: these are The Official ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/01/08/the-secret-lair-episode-0001-revenge-of-the-title-of-the-episode/ Welcome to The Secret Lair. Visitors who wish to leave alive will wipe their feet on the mat before entering. By entering The Secret Lair, you are indicating that you have read and agree with our Terms of Entry and consent to having your memories altered and/or erased before leaving. ... http://www.thesecretlair.com/main/2008/01/04/meanwhile-somewhere-near-cleveland/