This morning C.A.’s wife, Kelly, passed away unexpectedly. Our hearts, thoughts, prayers and deepest condolences are with C.A. in this difficult and tragic time.

I’ve taken down the tip jar because there is something better you can do with your money today: you can give a little to help someone who has always been there for us, a loyal fan like no other. Please visit the donation site established by Mae Breakall and give what you can to help C.A. cover the expenses that tragic events like these always incur.

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• In our first piece, The Monologue,  Kris orates grandly before one of the many who have attempted to penetrate the Lair…and failed.
• Our second piece, entitled Serial,  Chris tells a tale of boy meets girl…meets knife. NOTE: Not really for the kiddies, this one.

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Your Overlords are Old Men or “Infirmateam Assemble!”

• Decaffeinated coffee? Non-dairy creamer? Artificial sweetener? Who wants to rule a world where such things exist?
• We do.

Turning Pages

• Chris has high praise for The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss, which was recently nominated for the Compton Crook Award.
• Kris is reading Elric of Melniboné by Michael Moorcock.
• We are still reading The Sky People by S.M. Stirling for The Secret Library. Kris is very nearly finished. Are you?

What Makes a Good Novel?

• Chris wants to be engrossed and transported.
• Chris likes the poetic style of the 1960’s. Poetic style doesn’t necessarily require the ingestion of psychotropic pharmaceuticals…but it can’t hurt.
• Chris would like Patrick Rothfuss to rewrite Robert Jordan’s entire Wheel of Time series. Bring on the hate mail.
• Chris prefers dialog to description.
• Chris says, “Tolkien was a hack.” I’m paraphrasing.
• Kris likes lighter fare; what he calls “beach novels” (see James Patterson’s Maximum Ride series).
• Kris also wants good description, something he feels is lacking in Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series.
• Chris wants a good mystery novel. The last one he read was by Ellis Peters (Brother Cadfael Mysteries).

Promo!

• Max Quick: Book Two - The Two Travellers by Mark Jeffrey premieres 01 May 2008 on Podiobooks.com. You can subscribe to Max Quick: Book One - The Pocket and The Pendant at Podiobooks.com, and you should: it’s the first podiobook selection for The Secret Library. More information on the series is available on the official web site.

Books Into Movies

• Chris doesn’t think The Name of the Wind should be made into a movie; there’s simply too much that would not survive the translation.
• Kris thinks that translating Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Süskind to film was ill-advised.
• Kris also hopes that there are no plans to adapt Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides to film.
• Chris wanders off into Touchy-Feely Land for a few minutes. Someone give that man a hug.
• …aaaand we’re back. Kris is glad Jurassic Park made the jump from pulp and ink to celluloid.

Evil Experiments

• The overlords will be meeting each morning at a local coffeeshop for more decaf, powdered non-milk and aspartame.
• And writing.
• Chris wants to write flash fiction.
• Kris wants to write a horror story based on his exposure to countless hours of children’s television. There’s an animal in trouble somewhere.
• During our daily writing experiments, we will likely make use of resources like Plotstorming.com.

Miscellanea

• Batman & Robin: Clooney had rigidity issues.
• Kris ruins The Empire Strikes Back for everyone.
• Wesley Clifford: not human? You decide.

Lairkeeping

• Thank you to Zach from the Geek Survival Guide for beta-testing our new feedback e-mail address. We welcome your feedback. At The Secret Lair. Dot Com.
• Be sure to visit our official community and The Secret Library.
• Our theme music is still provided by the extremely talented and well-bearded gentleman, Jonathan Coulton.

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April Fool’s Day

• Economic Stimulation Package. Did American Public Radio’s Marketplace play an April Fool’s Day joke on Chris?
• YouTube rickrolled everyone.
• So did Mahalo Daily.
• The Electronic Frontier Foundation is moving their headquarters.
• Twatr is an interesting new Twitter-clone…for your genitals.

WordPress 2.5

• …has a new administrator interface. Chris isn’t a fan.
• …has a new image/media management system…which doesn’t seem to work on The Secret Lair.
• …has a redesigned Write Post screen. We don’t much care for it.
• Kris has more to say about WordPress 2.5 on his blog.

Unquiet Desperation

• Unquiet Desperation is an online poetry ‘zine.
• It is also Chris’ blog and podcast.
• Awkward!

Minion Recruiting Board

• Thanks to P.G. Holyfield and Scott Sigler, we have a number of job openings at the Lair.
• Fill out our super-secret minion application form, if you can find it.

The Secret Library

• Our current novel is The Sky People by S.M. Stirling.
• Our current graphic novel is Shooting War by Anthony Lappé and Dan Goldman .
• NEW! At the request of our minions, we have decided to add a podiobook section to The Secret Library. Our first selection is The Pocket and the Pendant by Mark Jeffrey. Subscribe at Podiobooks.com.

RPGs

• The Dresden Files RPG bleeding edge beta continues.
• Gunnar scored some WarHammer RPG 2nd Edition sourcebooks and Half-Price Books recently.

Movies and Television

• Kris saw Spider-Man 3 and wishes he hadn’t.
• Chris says it was worse than Batman and Robin.
• Check out How It Should Have Ended. (YouTube)
• The Spectacular Spider-Man is on the Kids’ WB and is far more entertaining.

Housekeeping

• We have a feedback address, where you may send us feedback. At The Secret Lair. Dot Com.
• There’s also a contact form, which no one has used yet. Will you be the first?
• It is entirely possible to join our official community, should you be so inclined.
• Our theme music is “Skullcrusher Mountain” by Intertroubadour extraordinaire, Jonathan Coulton.

1. Let’s not be concerned with who may or may not have forgotten to engage the magnetic couplers in the holding environment. Pointing fingers isn’t going to get us a new stenographer and playing The Blame Game isn’t helping morale.
2. Writing the show notes is not punishment. As co-overlord, I’m above punishment, even if you could prove conclusively that it was me. Which you can’t.
3. What’s that? Maybe I should have delayed release of the crocodile? Oh, great. That’s very mature. How about this: maybe you should think twice before you go hiring your relatives, okay? People get eaten, gassed, disintegrated, mutated and shunted to other dimensions around here all the time, but when it’s your cousin it’s suddenly a big deal.
4. Shut up. Just shut up!

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For those of you that may not be aware of the man known as the Future Dark Overlord™ Scott Sigler, we at The Secret Lair do not endorse Scott’s most excellent sci-fi/horror novel Infected. Do not, I repeat, do not go out on April 1st and buy this very well written novel that can be found at all major bookstores. Doing so will only encourage him to keep making more awesome books and continue his quest to outshine the true overlords at this fine establishment.

Thank you for your cooperation,

-The Mgmt.

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When we found Ed Dale roaming through the The Secret Library stacks in a daze, we naturally assumed that one of the test subjects from the Cerebral Transference Laboratory had wandered in after the Matter Phase-Shift Emitter prototype in the adjacent lab proved more powerful than we originally anticipated, rendering many of the walls and floors on three sublevels temporarily immaterial. It was only after a minion pointed out Mr. Dale’s lack of cranial sutures that we realized our misapprehension.

As it happens, Mr. Dale was seeking the discussion group for Market Forces by Richard K. Morgan. In a moment of uncommon benevolence, we decided to let Ed join in the discussion rather than turning him over to our new android librarian, who shushes noisy patrons with depleted uranium bullets and singularity grenades and collects overdue fees with a 7 gauge hypodermic needle.

The Discussion

• Also by Richard K. Morgan: the Takeshi Kovacs novels (Altered Carbon, Woken Furies)
• American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
• “Along the Scenic Route” by Harlan Ellison, available in Deathbird Stories
• The Sound and the Fury and As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
• The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights by John Steinbeck
• Batman & Robin starring George Clooney and Chris McDonnell
• Zack Snyder (300) is directing the film version of Watchmen. Check out several characters in costume (including Ozymandias) on Zack Snyder’s production blog.

Addenda

• Laura’s complete review can be found at the official community discussion thread for Market Forces.
• Troy posted his thoughts on the book at GoodReads.com.
• The book inspired Ken Newquist to play Uncle Bear’s Toybox Wars. You can read Ken’s playtest review at Nuketown. If Ken knows what’s good for him, he’ll share his thoughts on the book in the comments section of this post, at the official community, or on the GoodReads group.

Chris’ Recent Reads

• The Retriever series (Staying Dead, Curse the Dark) by Laura Anne Gilman
• Programming Collective Intelligence: Building Smart Web 2.0 Applications by Toby Segaran
• Beautiful Code: Leading Programmers Explain How They Think edited by Andy Oram & Greg Wilson

Ed’s Recent Reads

• Natural Ordermage by L.E. Modesitt
• Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed by Jared Diamond
• Cauldron by Jack McDevitt
• The Southern Vampire Mysteries (Dead Until Dark, Living Dead in Dallas) by Charlaine Harris
• The Aisling Grey, Guardian series (You Slay Me, Fire Me Up, Light My Fire, Holy Smokes) by Katie MacAlister

Kris’ Recent Reads

• Spook Country by William Gibson
• The Scorpion’s Gate by Richard A. Clarke
• The Goon graphic novels by Eric Powell
• Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter: Guilty Pleasures, Vol. 1 by Laurell K. Hamilton

Series We Can’t Seem to Finish

• The Dark Tower by Stephen King
• The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan
• The First Chronicles Of Thomas Covenant The Unbeliever (Lord Foul’s Bane, The Illearth War, The Power That Preserves) by Stephen R. Donaldson
• The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
• Mission Earth by L. Ron Hubbard

Next Time on The Secret Library

Our next selection from The Secret Library comes to us courtesy of Ken Newquist, host of the Nuketown Radio Active podcast. Regular listeners will recall our interrogation of Mr. Newquist from Episode 0006, though it is highly unlikely that Mr. Newquist will.

Mr. Newquist has chosen The Sky People, by S.M. Stirling. Our intelligence reports indicate that the book is a combination of three genres that hold a strange allure to your overlords: alternate-history science fiction and pulp.

From the front flap of the hardcover edition:

Marc Vitrac was born in Louisiana in the early 1960s, about the time the first interplanetary probes delivered the news that Mars and Venus were teeming with life—even human life. At that point, the “Space Race” became the central preoccupation of the great powers of the world.

Now, in 1988, Marc has been assigned to Jamestown, the U.S.-Commonwealth base on Venus, near the great Venusian city of Kartahown. Set in a countryside swarming with sabertooths and dinosaurs, Jamestown is home to a small band of American and allied scientist-adventurers.

But there are flies in this ointment—and not only the Venusian dragonflies, with their yard-wide wings. The biologists studying Venus’s life are puzzled by the way it not only resembles that on Earth, but is virtually identical to it. The EastBloc has its own base at Cosmograd, in the highlands to the south, and relations are frosty. And attractive young geologist Cynthia Whitlock seems impervious to Marc’s Cajun charm.

Meanwhile, at the western end of the continent, Teesa of the Cloud Mountain People leads her tribe in a conflict with the Neanderthal-like beastmen who have seized her folk’s sacred caves. Then an EastBloc shuttle crashes nearby, and the beastmen acquire new knowledge…and AK-47s.

Jamestown sends its long-range blimp to rescue the downed EastBloc cosmonauts, little suspecting that the answer to the jungle planet’s mysteries may lie there, among tribal conflicts and traces of a power that made Earth’s vaunted science seem as primitive as the tribefolk’s blowguns. As if that weren’t enough, there’s an enemy agent on board the airship…

Minions in the new Dirigible Assault Division should note that The Sky People is required reading. We will be discussing the book sometime in May. Check out our community and official group on GoodReads to participate in the online discussion.

And another thing…

Thanks to Troy over at GoodReads, we have our first graphic novel selection: Shooting War by Anthony Lappé and Dan Goldman . This graphic novel was originally published as a serialized web comic, which was greatly expanded for the hardcover edition from Grand Central Publishing. The Eisner-nominated web comic is still available online.

Shooting War is the near-future story of Jimmy Burns, a video blogger who is in the right place at the wrong time and becomes an overnight Internet celebrity. Soon, Jimmy is blogging from a war-torn, occupied Iraq instead of the Starbucks around the corner.

The Secret Library Nominated Novels

• Sewer, Gas and Electric by Matt Ruff
• The Golden Globe by John Varley
• The World Without Us by Alan Weisman

The Secret Library Nominated Graphic Novels

• Dark Tower: The Gunslinger Born by Stephen King, Peter David, Robin Furth and Jae Lee
• Ex Machina: The First Hundred Days by Brian K. Vaughan and Tony Harris
• Hellboy: Seed of Destruction by Mike Mignola and John Byrne

Podcasts We Like

• Geek Radio Daily
• Stephen Fry’s Podgrams
• Secret Identity

Miscellany

• Brewed Fresh Daily, news and opinion from Cleveland, Ohio.
• Bitstrips is a site where you can create your own webcomics. The overlords suffer from “Boundless Creativity“.
• The Dresden Files roleplaying game is currently in beta. Chris recently played with some of the folks from The Game Master Show.

Congratulations

• To Scott Sigler, whose novel, Infected, will be available at Amazon.com on April 1.
• To Podiobooks author Seth Harwood whose novel, Jack Wakes Up is now available at Amazon.com.
• To Mur Lafferty, whose novella, Wasteland (Heaven Season Four) is now available at Podiobooks.com.

Special Thanks

• To our Secretary of Artistic Propaganda, Natalie Metzger, who continues to amaze us with her awesome art.
• To P.G. Holyfield, author of the audionovel Murder at Avadon Hill, who continues to befuddle and mock us.
• To The Vicar and Billy Flynn over at Geek Radio Daily, for spreading the love far and wide…and thick.
• To J.C. Hutchins for playing our promo on his recent UltraCreatives interview with Guy Kawasaki.
• To Jonathan Coulton, for our theme song, “Skullcrusher Mountain”.
• And finally, an extra special thank you to everyone who donated to our tip jar. The Zoom H2 mobile recorder is completely paid for! Official Henchman records will be updated shortly.

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Show notes will be posted as soon as the laserdrill breaks through the vibranium doors.

- Minion #34720/B

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Once satisfied that we had wrung every useful iota of information from Mr. Newquist, we wiped every memory of the interrogation from his mind—leaving only a powerful sub- and semi-conscious fear of all things related to The Secret Lair—and turned him over to our Detrieval Squad (which probably needs a better name) who returned him to his home.¹

In retrospect, Ken may not be able to provide the best testimonial to the effectiveness of our Retrieval Squads, but he can certainly attest to the thoroughness of our upgraded memory alteration hardware. More accurately, the recording we present in this episode of The Secret Lair and Mr. Newquist’s complete lack of memory regarding the same should demonstrate that the hardware works quite well indeed.

Our interrogation of Mr. Newquist (or, at least, the bits of it we’re sharing) was primarily devoted to roleplaying games, wikis and open source content management systems. While a roleplaying game about a content management system might be incredibly dull, there are certainly ways in which RPGs can benefit from web-based tools, and such is the core of our discussion.

Roleplaying Games

• Dungeons & Dragons
  • World of Greyhawk
  • D&D 4th Edition
• Mutants & Masterminds
• Savage Worlds
  • The Savage World of Solomon Kane
  • The Pirates of the Spanish Main
• WarHammer 40K
• World of Warcraft

Online Tools for Gamers

• The wiki, a tool that allows multiple users to easily create and link web documents.
  • MediaWiki is the software upon which Wikipedia and Mahalo are built.
  • The Griffin’s Crier wiki is powered by MediaWiki.
• The virtual table top, usually a client-server application, allows remote gamers to play pen and paper RPGs together.
  • OpenRPG is an open source application developed in Python that runs on any OS.
  • Battlegrounds: RPG Edition runs on Windows and Mac OS X.
  • The Screen Monkey GM server runs on a Windows PC, but clients need only a web browser.
• Play-by-Email
  • PBEM-Portal.com
  • PBEM Players
  • Groovy Gamers
• Other Tools
  • RPTools, a collection of tools to help with mapping, tracking initiative, dice rolling and more. [Kudos to Trevor for the link.]

Open Source Software

• Moodle is an open source Course Management System, an alternative to Blackboard.
• Drupal is an open source Content Management System with lots of module support.
• WordPress is the open source blogging software upon which The Secret Lair website is built.

Promos

• The Game That May Be
• Nuketown Radio Active

Ken Newquist is the editor of Nuketown and host of Nuketown Radio Active. His gaming column, Summon Web Scryer, appears in Knights of the Dinner Table magazine.

1. Mr. Newquist’s family was totally unaware that he had been abducted, such is the power of our new temporal arrestor.

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Please, feel free pass this one around. Podcasters, let us know if you play the promo, and we’ll be happy to link to you.

1. Before it was shot down by the Navy

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Here is an aged volume, the words within first put to paper in the late twentieth century! Writ upon the faded spine of this mass market paperback is the title, Fatherland, and the name of the author who dared pen the tale, Robert Harris. Join the overlords and their special prisoner guest, Laura Johnson, as they unveil the sinister secrets of the very first selection from The Secret Library.

While discussing Fatherland, we mention:

• The Day After Tomorrow by Allan Folsom.
• Fatherland is a television mini-series based on the novel. It stars Rutger Hauer and Miranda Richardson, but seems to be available only on VHS.
• 1984 by George Orwell.
• The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum.
• The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown is essentially the same novel as Angels & Demons (also by Brown).
• The gorgalthumper.
• Life is Beautiful starring Roberto Begnini.
• Schindler’s List starring Liam Neeson.
• Harry Turtledove is arguably the master of alternate history. How Few Remain tells the tale of how one seemingly minor alteration might have changed the outcome of The Civil War and rewritten a hundred years of history.
• Michael Moorcock’s Elric saga features an intriguing anti-hero who engages the reader and draws them into the story.
• Jim Butcher’s urban wizard, Harry Dresden, is an entertaining character and he makes The Dresden Files a fun series to read.
• House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski is an exercise in tricky typesetting.
• M. Night Shyamalan’s The Sixth Sense isn’t as enjoyable when you know the big secret ahead of time.

This is the first episode recorded with our brand new Samson Zoom H2 mobile recorder. As of this writing, we’ve almost covered the entire purchase price with donations! Many thanks to everyone who donated.

Coming soon to a podcatcher near you…

Our next book for The Secret Library is Market Forces by Richard K. Morgan.

From the back cover: “A coup in Cambodia. Guns to Guatemala. For the men and women of Shorn Associates, opportunity is calling. In the superheated global village of the near future, big money is made by finding the right little war and backing one side against the other—in exchange for a share of the spoils. To succeed, Shorn uses a new breed of corporate gladiator: sharp-suited, hard-driving gunslingers who operate armored vehicles and follow a Samurai code. And Chris Faulkner is just the man Shorn needs.”

From the Amazon.com editorial review: “Market Forces is at once an anti-globalization treatise and anime fantasy meets The Road Warrior…a disturbingly brutal picture of slash-and-burn capitalism run amok.”

We encourage interested minions to acquire a copy and join in the discussion at our official community or The Secret Library group at Goodreads.

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• We do not need everything the H4 can do
• The H2 is cheaper, which means we get to start using it faster.

Thanks to everyone who has donated, and we’ll keep you in the know on future developments.

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Despite what many of you may have heard, The Secret Lair was not invaded by subterranean mutants last night. The lower sub-basements are closed due to flooding brought on by unseasonal rainfall coupled with melting snow, not because we are repairing a sixty-foot wide hole and removing dozens of corpses. Rumors that we have sent a reconnaissance team into the vast network of tunnels beneath the Lair are entirely unfounded; personnel who propagate such rumors are subject to disciplinary measures including (but not limited to) immediate termination.

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You are being afforded a rare opportunity to provide feedback to your evil overlords with little or no fear of retributive disintegration. In just over a week, we will be recording a new episode of The Secret Lair in which we will discuss the novel Fatherland, by Robert Harris. If you have read the book and would like to participate in the discussion, please visit the forums at our official community or join The Secret Library group at GoodReads.

Even if you haven’t read the book, you can make suggestions for future books you’d like us to read and discuss on The Secret Lair by commenting at the aforementioned on-line venues or in the comments section of this very blog post.

Act now! Our benevolence may expire at any time!

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-The Mgmt.

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—Batman (Jeremy Sisto), Justice League: The New Frontier

It might seem cynical of The Dark Knight to keep an artifact capable of destroying his most powerful ally, but it’s an attitude that we here at The Secret Lair embrace. You’d better believe that each of your hosts has the capability to crush the other; it’s our own form of détente, ensuring that no one gets any funny ideas about turning our little partnership into a solo act.

Does that mean all the friendly banter is just a façade we present to our audience to conceal that fact that we’re constantly waging a sort of Cold War behind the microphones?

Yes. Yes it does.

Episode 0004 of the podcast is another trip into The Screening Room, where we have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to cell phones and chit-chat during the feature presentation, and our ushers carry stun guns and neural disruptors as well as those funny little flashlights.

Lairkeeping

• We’ve overcome our recording scrambler issues and, for the first time, are recording from within The Secret Lair.
• The minions have begun their search for the infamous Cleveland Death Ray.
• We’re working on building our own Eye of Harmony, but it’s not quite finished.
• We’re borrowing foolproof money-making schemes from Superman III and Office Space.

The Screening Room

Night Watch (Nochnoy Dozor) is based on the novel of the same name by Sergei Lukyanenko. It is the tale of two ages-old supernatural factions that have been in a tenuous state of détente for hundreds of years. Now, an ancient prophecy is on the verge of coming true; The Great Other will choose sides in the battle of light against dark and the balance will be upset. This is the first film in a trilogy that continues in Day Watch (Dnevnoy Dozor) and will conclude in 2009 with the as-yet-unnamed third film (rumored to be titled either Twilight Watch or Dusk Watch).

We managed to get our evil little hands on a preview copy of Justice League: The New Frontier, a direct-to-DVD animated movie from Warner Animation and DC Comics due out in late February. The movie is based on the New Frontier graphic novels by Darwyn Cooke. It is the second of three animated movies based on DC characters (the first is Superman: Doomsday and the third, Teen Titans: The Judas Contract, will be released later this year). The story takes place in the mid-1950’s and chronicles how several masked heroes join forces to face a powerful enemy known as The Center.

More Movies

• Hellboy is a great sci-fi/fantasy/action flick that we feel stands up well to repeated viewing.
• Hellboy: Sword of Storms is the first animated Hellboy moving, starring Ron Perlman as Hellboy, Selma Blair as Liz Sherman and Doug Jones as Abe Sapien.
• Hellboy: Blood and Iron is the second (but hopefully not last) animated Hellboy movie.
• The Amazing Screw-on Head, another Mike Mignola creation, is worth watching but, at a mere 22 minutes long, may not be worth the original $14.98 retail price.

TV Series on DVD

• Chris couldn’t get into HBO’s Rome.
• We agree to disagree about the artistic value of the colorful language in HBO’s Deadwood. Chris prefers the dialog in the BBC’s Spooks (rebranded MI-5 in the United States).

Even More Movies

We are looking forward to (in varying degrees) some upcoming 2008 theatrical releases:

• Iron Man (Release date: 2 May 2008)
• The Dark Knight (Release date: 18 July 2008)
• Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Release date: 11 July 2008)
• Kris really has no interest in the new Star Trek movie (Release date: 25 December 2008).
• The X-Files 2 (Electric Boogaloo?) is due out on 24 July 2008 and doesn’t yet have an official title. Tick-tock, Mr. Carter. Tick-tock.
• The new Bond film (starring Daniel Craig as 007) does have an official title: Quantum of Solace (Release date: 7 November 2008).

Accolades

• Natalie Metzger has made great progress on our official logo and we look forward to revealing the final product.
• Many thanks to J.C. Hutchins, who is taking a break from all that crazy cloning to design our official henchman badge, which you’ll soon be able to proudly display on your website.
• Thanks again to Jennifer and Mark for their donations. We’re two steps closer to acquiring the Zoom H-4 digital recorder. If you’d like to make a donation, there is a PayPal link on the main site. Please be sure to let us know whether you’d like us to use your real name or a pseudonym when we praise your generosity.
• We salute Mick Bradley, who recently announced that he is stepping down from The Rolemonkeys podcast. We both owe Mr. Bradley a debt of gratitude. Without his influence, The Secret Lair would probably not exist today.
• Thanks to Ken Newquist for being a good sport.
• Finally, thanks to Kingfish and the boys over at Geeklabel Radio for helping to spread the word about The Secret Lair.

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